Everything happens for a reason?
June 22, 2024
One of the best parts of my work is introducing Judaism and Jewish life to people of other faiths, and those with no faith. Given that Judaism is a religion, a culture, a heritage, a tribe, and perhaps most comprehensively a people, my introduction to Jewish life often starts with what people are curious about. A common question is, “What do Jewish people believe?” This seems straightforward but is anything but.
I usually say something like this: Judaism is often described as a religion of actions rather than beliefs, emphasizing the importance of what one does over what one thinks or believes. This action-oriented nature is rooted in the Torah and furthered by rabbinic teachings, rituals, traditions, and an emphasis on social action and justice. While Judaism does have core theological beliefs, such as the belief in one God and the importance of the Torah, it does not demand uniformity in thought. There is a wide spectrum of beliefs within Judaism about God, the afterlife, and other theological concepts. What unifies Jews more than a single set of beliefs is their shared practice and observance of the mitzvot (commandments).
This usually leaves people with more questions than answers, but it sparks good Jewish curiosity. It also allows me to consistently reflect on what I believe and, more easily, on what I don’t. Over the years, my core beliefs have remained strong, even when tested, but one belief I used to hold, I have now completely dismissed: the idea that “everything happens for a reason.”
The more I see, learn, and feel loss, the more I can no longer accept that everything happens for a reason. Judaism’s foundational concept of human free will underscores the importance of choice. There are many examples in the Torah and other rabbinic teachings that highlight the agency humans possess to shape their destinies, implying that not all events are preordained by divine will.
I have never believed that life events were preordained by the divine, and yet, even with free will, wonderful people have terrible things happen to them. For a long time, I tried to find the reasons for these tragic events. Several years ago, I stopped — I stopped trying to make meaning from tragedy.
Perhaps some of you have read Rabbi Harold Kushner’s influential book, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” He addresses this issue directly. Kushner argues that not all suffering is part of a divine plan. He suggests that natural laws and human free will can lead to random and unjust events. He writes, “I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason… But I do believe that some things happen for no reason, and we are free to give them a reason by the way we respond to them.”
I have worked hard to deprogram myself from trying to make meaning from tragedy and instead living in the heartbreak and sadness without trying to make sense of it. This process has taught me valuable lessons. Everyone has experienced tragedy. Some you can see, some you know, some you will never know, and some they will never realize. For this reason, I no longer need to search for meaning but instead try to accept what I cannot understand. I found that my search for meaning got in the way of me showing up for those who are experiencing hardship. Once I let the quest for meaning go, I could show up for those who needed my compassion and love in a whole new way.
Perhaps equally important, it also allowed me to draw better boundaries. The meaning I had attached to some people’s tragedies gave them excuses for their behavior. By removing the quest to find meaning, I have begun to see things as they are, not as I imagined them to be. And I would no longer accept behavior that was unacceptable because someone had had a difficult life.
May this week be filled with compassion for those who are suffering, and may you find the strength to share love with those who need it the most (that may be yourself).
Shavua Tov,
Betzy Lynch, CEO
