Kaddish Three Times
May 11, 2024
This week has been punctuated with moments of grief and mourning across the world, in Israel, and especially right here in San Diego. This week, our community will gather to say Kaddish at least three times. Kaddish is one of the most well-known and frequently recited prayers in Jewish liturgy. The word “Kaddish” means “holy” in Aramaic, reflecting the prayer’s theme of sanctification and praise of God. There are several versions of the Kaddish, each serving a different purpose. The Mourner’s Kaddish is recited during the mourning period and on the anniversary of the death of a close relative. It does not mention death but instead focuses on praising God’s name and praying for peace and redemption.
What many people don’t know is that Kaddish originated not in the synagogue but in the house of study. According to the book “How to Comfort the Dying, Bury the Dead, & Mourn as a Jew” (Schocken Books), after a scholar delivered a learned discourse, students and teachers would rise to praise God’s name. During the mourning period for a rabbi or teacher, students would gather to study in his honor, and his son was given the honor of leading the prayer. Over time, reciting Kaddish replaced studying as the tribute given to a scholar. Eventually, the custom extended to all mourners — not only the survivors of rabbis and leaders. By the sixth century, Kaddish was part of synagogue prayers, and during the 13th century, when the Crusades threatened the Jewish communities of Europe, it became inextricably linked to loss and mourning.
Kaddish #1
On Sunday, we marked Yom Hashoah. Over the years, Yom HaShoah has provided Jewish communities the opportunity to remember the victims of the Shoah, honor survivors, learn the history of the Holocaust, and promote tolerance and understanding. Yom HaShoah ensures that the six million Jews and millions of others who perished in the Holocaust are not forgotten. It is a solemn reminder of the human cost of hatred, bigotry, and intolerance. At the same time, we honor the survivors of the Holocaust, recognizing their strength, resilience, and courage. It is an opportunity to listen to their testimonies and learn from their experiences. While Yom HaShoah is a Jewish observance, the significance of the commemoration resonates globally as it is a call to remember past atrocities and work towards a world of peace, justice, and mutual respect for all people.
Kaddish #2
This Sunday, we will mark Yom HaZikaron, Israel’s Memorial Day. Yom HaZikaron is a day to honor and remember the soldiers who have sacrificed their lives for the State of Israel and the victims of terrorism. It is a solemn recognition of their bravery and commitment to defending the Jewish homeland. Yom HaZikaron is a day that unites the Israeli people and the Jewish community worldwide in remembrance and mourning. It strengthens the sense of national and communal solidarity, reminding people of the shared sacrifices made for Israel’s security and survival. Yom HaZikaron is a day to offer support and comfort to the families of fallen soldiers and victims of terrorism. It is a reminder that their loved ones are not forgotten and that their sacrifice is deeply appreciated.
In this year, the overlay of grief in observance of Yom HaShoah and Yom HaZikaron has been looming over our community long before these two days of observance. Since October 7, we have been very present with our history of struggle, persecution, exile, and perseverance. While I believe it is not appropriate to compare the massacre of October 7, the subsequent war, and the current rise in Jew hatred to the Shoah, the depth of our grief stems from returning to a place that mirrors many moments of our history in which we believed were only a part of our past.
Kaddish #3
This week, San Diego lost a matriarch of our community, Joan Jacobs z”l. Joan was born on January 17, 1933, in New York City. She often said she came from modest roots, but her family always appreciated music and the arts. She was accepted into the Barnard School for Girls in Upper Manhattan; however, her interests were not limited to liberal arts and culture. She later enrolled in Cornell University, where she earned a Bachelor of Science degree in 1954 from the College of Human Ecology. Cornell is also where she met her future husband, Irwin Jacobs, whom she married the same year she was awarded her college degree. Trained as a dietitian, Joan worked for the Groton Central School District in upstate New York and later took a position at Boston Lying-in Hospital, now known as Brigham and Women’s Hospital.
Joan and Irwin moved to San Diego in 1966 after he accepted a job to help start the engineering department at UC San Diego. They bought a lot in La Jolla in 1968 and built a house that became their home for decades to come. As they raised their four sons, Irwin and several UCSD colleagues first built a technology company they called Linkabit. Some 15 years later, he co-founded Qualcomm, which has become one of the leading technology providers in the world.
While Joan and Irwin were raising their family and building Qualcomm, they were also helping to raise and build our Jewish community. While there isn’t a corner of San Diego that has been untouched by the Jacobs’s philanthropic generosity, I have the honor of stewarding Joan and Irwin’s legacy at our Jacobs Family Campus at our JCC every day.
So as I recite Kaddish on Monday at Joan’s celebration of life, I hope to honor her in the way the tradition of saying Kaddish started by standing with my community to honor our teacher. It has been a gift to be a student of Joan’s unique brand of leadership and generosity. Joan’s attention to detail, desire for excellence, and consistent capacity to be there for you whenever she was needed and before she was even asked will be a legacy that we will continue to learn from for generations to come.
May the memories of those we honor this week be a blessing to their loved ones and our community now and forever.
Betzy Lynch, CEO
