Sifting

May 4, 2024

This week, I came across a passage from Pirkei Avot that resonated with me. For those unfamiliar, Pirkei Avot, sometimes translated as “Ethics of the Sages,” is a compilation of ethical teachings from the early rabbis of Judaism, offering guidance on personal conduct, ethics, and values.

This week’s inspiration was the following:

“There are four types among those who study with the Sages: the sponge, the funnel, the strainer, the sifter. The sponge absorbs everything; the funnel — in one end and out the other; The strainer passes the wine and retains the dregs; the sifter removes the chaff and retains the edible wheat (5:15).”

After some contemplation of the passage, it occurred to me that perhaps the rabbis meant that each learning type is categorized by person. My neurodivergent brain immediately went to a place where within each one of us, we can be a sponge, a funnel, a strainer, and a sifter depending on what we are learning and maybe more importantly who is teaching us.

For weeks and a few months after October 7th, I felt like a sponge just taking it all in, wringing myself out, and taking in more. It didn’t matter who was talking to me; I felt compelled to listen with the intent to absorb. In the last two months and since the rise in antisemitism on college campuses across the US, I feel more like a strainer, taking it all in from sources that push me way beyond my comfort zone and others that reaffirm my sense of hope. The hope doesn’t last long, and I find myself sitting in the dregs a little too often.

But yesterday, I got to be a sifter, finally pulling the chaff from the wheat and keeping the best part.

Here’s how it happened…

For nearly six years, I have had the honor of serving on the continental Board of Directors of Jewish Community Centers of North America. I have two committee assignments as a part of my Board service: JCC Maccabi and JWB (Jewish Welfare Board). Many of you know JCC Maccabi, as San Diego has been the host of the JCC Maccabi Games and Access in 2008 and most recently in 2022. I assume there are only a few people who know about JWB. The Jewish Welfare Board (JWB) provides religious, educational, and morale-boosting services to Jewish military personnel, their families, and veterans. Founded in 1917, JWB has a long history of supporting Jewish members of the armed forces, ensuring they can practice their faith and maintain a sense of community while serving their country. JWB’s programs include chaplaincy services, holiday celebrations, and educational initiatives, all aimed at fostering Jewish identity and connection within the military community. There are approximately 10,000 Jewish people serving in the United States armed forces today. When you include their families, JWB serves nearly 40,000 people across the globe. I had a particular interest in using my leadership on the Board to support JWB given one of the largest concentrations of United States service members and their families live in San Diego.

Over the last six years, I have worked to better understand the needs of Jewish service members and their families, mostly by trying to understand the needs of all military families. I have learned so much, which has only deepened my appreciation for those who serve. Our efforts to begin to meet the needs of service members have included the JCC’s Nierman preschool becoming a Blue Star preschool, which allows qualifying service members to have tuition support for their child to attend. We have also done outreach to Bases through PJ Library for holidays, sent care packages and cards overseas, and much more.

And most of the efforts made me feel like a funnel. We took steps to create invitations and initiatives, but everything just seemed to be slipping through without making any lasting personal connections.

Then Rabbi Irv Elson, Director of JWB (Rabbi Elson retired from service after serving as deputy chaplain of the United States Marine Corps, the second-highest position in the Marine Corps chaplaincy. He is the first Jew to hold that position), introduced me to Rabbi Joshua Sherwin, LT, CHC, USN. Our team met with Rabbi Sherwin, and we began to dream about what might be possible for our JCC and our local Jewish community to build a consistent foundation of support for the Jewish service members and their families.

Then last month, Makenna Seward, Simone Abelsohn, and Adam Nicolai (professionals on our Community Engagement team) came bouncing into my office and said, “We are doing it, we are hosting Shabbat dinner at Camp Pendleton!” I was thrilled about the idea that we could sit with a group of service members and learn directly from them what they needed to deepen their connections to Jewish community.

Yesterday, we hosted that Shabbat. The intimate group, which also included our dear friend, Matt Brown who works at the regional office of ADL, Rabbi Sherwin and his family (who, by the way, turned out to be Simone’s cousin), and other service members and their children, welcomed Shabbat with such warmth. The conversation was robust, and the dinner we shared was delicious. I learned so much in the two hours directly from the service members who are the sages of their experience. And while my attempts have taken me nearly six years, I finally found a way to be a sifter, removing the chaff from the wheat. And now that we know how best to sift, we will find the best ways to support Jewish military families here in San Diego and across the globe.

As I drove away from Camp Pendleton last night, I was reflecting on all of the moments of despair over the last several months and current days. I can clearly see how we may be losing sight of how best to be of support to each other. Perhaps we are stuck being sponges, funnels, and strainers. As we move forward, please contemplate taking a pause and considering your approach. Sifting may take longer, but I feel confident that if we can get there, we will be left with something more to nourish and grow for our community.

Shavua Tov,

Betzy Lynch, CEO