What are we making?
May 18, 2024
Earlier this week, I caught up with a colleague I hadn’t spoken to in a while. We both reflected on the complexities of work over the last several years and how much has changed. I shared with her that I have been sitting with significant discomfort and genuine curiosity about the idea that building community with a diverse group of people has almost become counter-cultural in the United States of America.
How is this possible in a country that used to call itself a melting pot? I know that times have certainly changed, and the term “melting pot” was popularized in the early 1900s. In theory, it was an aspiration that the United States could be a place where immigrants from different cultures and backgrounds would come together and blend into a single, unified society. This concept was celebrated as a symbol of America’s diversity and inclusivity. However, the metaphor began to lose its appeal when the concept infringed on the preservation and continuity of unique cultural heritage, and individualism became as important, if not more so, than the larger society.
Then the metaphor shifted to a salad bowl to describe the cultural diversity of the United States. Unlike the melting pot metaphor, which suggests that immigrants assimilate into a single culture, the salad bowl metaphor suggests that each culture retains its own distinct identity while contributing to the larger whole. The salad began to wilt when some of the main ingredients (like the lettuce) decided to pick out the ingredients they didn’t like. Sometimes there was too much dressing, and you didn’t even taste the diversity; you just swallowed it because you were told salad was good for you.
When I look at America now, I wonder what are we making. At the moment, I feel like I stepped into a meat and three. For those of you who have never lived in the South, let me explain. A meat and three restaurant is a type of Southern dining establishment where the menu typically offers a choice of one meat dish and three side dishes. Customers can choose from a selection of meats such as fried chicken, country ham, meatloaf, or pork chops, and pair it with sides like mashed potatoes, green beans, cornbread, collard greens, or macaroni and cheese. This style of dining is known for its hearty, home-cooked meals and comfort food. I often struggled to eat meat and three because I am mostly a vegetarian and I eat a gluten-free diet. But, one thing I loved was that the food was served on a separated plate. This way if I was accidentally served food I couldn’t eat, I could still eat the other items on the plate.
Over the last few years, I have seen Americans selecting the parts of society that comfort them and digging heartily into what reinforces what they already like and know. Our communities have been served on separate plates so by design, the food doesn’t have to touch. And if by accident, the juice from the collard greens seeps over into your sweet potatoes, you can barely stomach eating them.
Is this the society we want to live in?
A few weeks ago, I was listening to a Times of Israel podcast in which the journalist was interviewing Micah Goodman. Micah Goodman is president of Beit Prat, one of the leading organizations in Israel for young adults, and a senior fellow at the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem. The author of Catch-67, he is considered one of the most original and influential public intellectuals in Israel. Micah described the way that many people view Israeli society in two camps, the right and the left. He fully admitted that there are those extremes and yet, he went on to say that there are actually three camps: the right, the left, and the hybrid. The hybrid group holds knowledge and opinions from both the right and left and other ideas that are not valued on either the right or the left. He estimates that in Israeli society, the hybrid group is actually the largest camp. The biggest challenge of those hybrid-thinking Israelis is to recognize that they are a collective. The power of that collective is its diversity and capacity to try on new thoughts and ideas. In that collective, Israeli society could imagine change and growth if people could recognize that they were a collective at all.
This got me thinking about what we are making here in the United States.
Some people might say we have two camps too, but I actually think we have five, maybe more. I think we have the right, the left, the hybrid, the windows, and the mirrors. Like Israel, the hybrid does not see itself as a collective, and in the US, that is furthered by the fact that it is hard to vote that way. The windows group are the people looking through the window to see what’s out there but choose to stay safely at home. The mirror group is happy to look at themselves to try to create a better world but only finds comfort in doing this with people whose reflection looks similar to their own. Research has shown that Americans tend to value caring, engage in caring acts, and still feel connected to each other across the political divide. However, most Americans don’t appear to have substantial concern for people who are different from them in terms of race, ethnicity, and religion, and many struggle to extend compassion to those they believe have made mistakes. Perhaps this is why building community at the J feels counter-cultural.
While I do love vegetarian collard greens and gluten free cornbread, I think eating every meal at a meat and three could lead to significant health risks long-term, even if the food may taste delicious now. What might the next item on the menu be?
While I know the impact of our JCC community will not change the societal menu, my aspiration is that our JCC adds a bigger portion of an ingredient into the society we hope to become. This special spice (Jewish value) is Emunah. Emunah (Trustworthiness) represents our instinct to come back, over and over, to our higher intentions — to “show up” for ourselves and for others, suspending judgment and embracing curiosity. Emunah is our instinct to instill a sense of trust in ourselves and in others through our reliability, our integrity, our honesty, and our punctuality.
Tomorrow, as a community we plan to celebrate Israel. I ask that as we gather as a collective we begin to recognize ways in which we show up for each other and build from that strength. How wonderful it will be to celebrate what you are bringing to our community and for all of us to take responsibility for what we can bring to our society.
Shavua Tov,
Betzy
Betzy Lynch, CEO
