Imposter Syndrome

What it is, How it affects you and How to handle it.

Do You…

• Feel like you are not good enough?
• Set really high standards for yourself and beat yourself up for every mistake?
• Constantly struggle to achieve things by yourself (lone ranger)?
• Feel like you haven’t earned your title as a ‘designer’ or feel like you can’t be called a ‘creative’?
• Fear being exposed because you don’t have sufficient experience and knowledge?
• Reject compliments on your work or undermine your own achievement?
• Reject certain offers because it might ‘expose’ you?
• Hesitate to put a price tag on your creative work because it feels too much for you?
• Spend a lot of time learning and not practicing because you feel like you don’t know?
• Find yourself overworking to prove yourself?

A short story

I decided to get serious with designing in October 2016, after serving my country, Nigeria, for a year. I have always been interested in design but I was never really serious with it. I was also struggling with school, so it wasn’t easy, but I had a rough idea of what design was about.

I started my design journey by reading design blogs. To learn more, improve my skills, and become more confident as a designer, I started the Daily UI challenge. Around November of that year, Paystack opened applications for design interns. Applicants had to do a design challenge, and somehow I got in. Actually, I did a lot of research work and proffered a solution to the challenge but I didn’t really think that I would get in (see, imposter syndrome rears its head again).

I got a job almost immediately after my internship, and a month later I got another offer, for more than twice what I was earning at the first job. I almost rejected it because I felt I did not deserve it. I thought to myself that I didn’t have enough experience and should spend some more time “learning.” My friends had to convince me to accept something better. lol

When I first started at the new place, I was unhappy and constantly afraid that I would be exposed. I always felt like I was under pressure and I was going to “die.” I spoke with a friend who advised me to wait it out for a month and if things didn’t get better, I could quit. My plan was quit after a month and take some time to learn because I felt like everything was happening wayyy too fast and I could not do the work required.

What is imposter syndrome?

According to Psychology Today, “Imposter syndrome is simply the feeling of being a fraud. It is a distortion of thinking that makes people believe they’re incompetent, unintelligent, and lazy. They’re convinced they’re faking their way through their accomplishments, and one day, they’ll be exposed as the frauds they believe themselves to be”.

Some studies have shown that while it is genderless, it’s more common amongst women. It is also really common amongst high achievers.

If you feel this way, you’re not alone. we have all been there, or we randomly fight this battle everyday. I have been there. I still struggle with it.

How does it affect you?

• It can make you become anxious, stressed, and even go into depression.
• It encourages self-doubt.
• It makes a you obsess about mistakes, negative feedback, and failure.
• It makes you afraid to try something new. I almost didn’t take a good job offer because of imposter syndrome
• It slowly kills your confidence. and then I almost quit the good job within a month of starting it
• It really limits you. This one is too real

While it is good to set standards for yourself and have gurus as mentors, your best measure of progress is your last work.

How to handle imposter syndrome

• Change your thought process. See yourself as a work in progress, accept yourself, your capabilities, your accomplishments and your mistakes. I don’t think that I have arrived but I have made progress and I can see how my work has changed and how it keeps changing and as long as progress is made, it’s fine
• Celebrate small victories, and constantly remind yourself you are not in a competition with anyone. I’m always happy (though I try to hide it) when I get praised or get feedback for my work and I tell myself I’ve done well, but I should do better next time
• Always ask for help when you need. You cannot know everything and no one is a custodian of knowledge. Ask questions or just google. It doesn’t matter if anyone thinks I’m a blockhead, I always ask questions and ask for help when i need to
• It is okay to Google or look up Stack Overflow. As long as you understand whatever you end up implementing from those resources.
• Talk to someone about it. As I mentioned earlier, I spoke to my friend. Talking about it will make you feel better
• Celebrate and document your efforts and growth. I don’t delete my ugly designs (at least not yet), I use them to measure growth. I also always write out my thought/work process
• Tell yourself you deserve it. I try to tell myself “you worked hard, you deserve it, you did it”
• It is okay not to know. If it is something you need to learn, then learn it but don’t spend all your time learning without putting knowledge into good use (practice). It is okay to forget too, you can always refresh your memory.
• Lastly, take solace in the fact that it’s more common amongst high achievers.

Currently, I still struggle with imposter syndrome but I’m happy to see improvements in how I design now versus how I used to design in the past. This is why it is very important to document your progress.

While it is good to set standards for yourself and have gurus as mentors, your best measure of progress is your last work. That’s what you should compare. Always put in your best work and strive to improve your work.

This article is based on the talk I gave on Imposter Syndrome at the SheDesigns meet-up in . Thank you Lade Tawak for the opportunity. I gave my first talk ever and I did not die :)