How to Have Memorable Nights Out at Uni Without Having To Compromise on Your Safety & Wellbeing
If something makes you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to put up with it — ever.
If you’re a new student, your first few weeks at uni will be particularly full of excitement and new friendships and parties. A lot of parties. The Full Moon Party, Frat Party, Freshers’ ROAR, PopTarts, plenty of other various regular club nights, plus the countless house parties as well as society socials and white t-shirt pub crawls that, if you’re a party-goer like I was, you are likely to be attending up until Halloween before the reality of mid-term assessments finally sinks in.
I always had a good time in this moment of the year, especially — surprise, surprise — in my final year. You may wonder why then, and not when I was actually a fresher.
The answer is incredibly simple: there were a lot of things that I didn’t know when I moved to the UK and started uni. I arrived desperately wanting to make a good impression, “fit in” and get along with as many people as possible. And, trust me, it is this pressure that, whilst totally natural and understable, can push any of us to do things we don’t wouldn’t normally do, or to accept things that we are actually quite uncomfortable with.
But the truth is: you NEVER have to put up with, or do, anything that you are not okay with. Ever. You don’t have to, you should not, you must not — it can completely ruin the mood of an otherwise great night, and especially put you in (sometimes serious) danger.
So without further ado, let me speak some wisdom of the elderly and tell you a couple of things I wish I knew four years ago:
- There is Safety (and fun!) in Numbers
The best nights out of my university experience have happened when I was in group of 5+ people. Going out in a large group not only makes for a better experience in terms of the number of people you will be able to share memories with, but also enables you to relax and worry less about your safety as it essentially guarantees that if you drink a bit too much someone will try to get you home safely.
2) It’s Totally Okay to Resist Peer Pressure
No, you don’t have to “down it” just because you are a fresher. You actually don’t have to drink at all, nor do drugs if that is what the people close to you are into. And if anyone makes fun of you because of that, or reacts badly, that’s a sign that you are not going to be great friends with them anyway and should stay away from them and their toxicity for the sake of your happiness and wellbeing.
3) You Wouldn’t Sober, You Shouldn’t Drunk — Alcohol is No Excuse for Bad Behaviour
Being drunk is never an excuse for intimidating or bullying anyone because of their gender, physical presentation, race, sexual orientation or nationality. It is also not an excuse for damaging or stealing property.
Moreover, and most importantly, being drunk, or the fact that someone you are with is drunk to the point of not being able to focus or stand, does not give you the right to impose yourself on them and put your priorities over theirs — they are someone who should be taken CARE of, not being taken advantage of. Particularly, in a sexual context, those who are drunk cannot consent, and sex without consent is legally classified as rape (!!!). Check this out.
4) You Have a RIGHT not to Be Harassed on a Night Out, and You CAN Speak Up Against It
Sexual harassment during nights out, although common, is totally unacceptable and needs to stop.
Unwanted physical contact of the likes of inappropriate touching, groping, pinching, grinding, as well as suggestive comments of a sexual nature, constitute nothing less than sexual harassment — which is a crime (Equality Act 2010).
Quite a few of us know this already, yet, due to the frequency of this type of behaviour, we are made to feel like it’s a normal and predictable part of any night out taking place in a crowded venue where the vast majority of people have had a few drinks. We are made to feel like it is something we should shrug off, something that complaining about will serve no purpose, something that if we are not ready to accept during a club night we should not bother with going out at all.
But it should not be like this, you have a right to have a good night and no one has the right to touch you without your permission.
Club creeps may never end up in jail for their actions, but there’s no reason why they should not be removed from venues. And you’ll be glad to know that if anything happens that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe in our SU, we have pledged to have Zero Tolerance to Sexual Harassment, on top of having subscribed to the Good Night Out scheme. This means that if something or someone makes you feel uncomfortable, no matter how minor it seems, you can report it to any member of our staff and they will work with you to make sure it doesn’t have to ruin your night.
All complaints made to safety stewards and bouncers in the SU are taken extremely seriously. And by all complaints, I mean ALL, because while most reports come from women students, ANYONE, of any gender and/or sexual orientation, can be a victim of sexual harassment and we have a collective responsibility to fight the culture of silence and compliance surrounding it.
So by all means: make a fuss, tweet about #GropeFreeNights, report — let’s all put an end to this.
5) You Don’t Have to Walk Home Alone, even if Don’t Have Any Money on You.
The SU in partnership with City Taxis runs a Safe Taxi Scheme which allows you to hand your Ucard to the driver as deposit for your fare and pay for your journey later when collecting it at the SU Welcome Desk.
Or, in case you have cash (£1.50) on you and you identify as a woman, the SU Women’s Minibus is also an option.
6) There are Places to Go to When it all Gets a bit Too Much
Again, if you’ve lost your friends, your phone is out of battery or you simply need a break, look out for quiet(er) areas.
Soon in the SU you will be able to find a Time Out space during nights out by the Gender Neutral Toilets on the way to the smoking area (by the East Entrance).
Here there will be volunteers to help you have a fab night. There will be water, food and phone chargers, as well as a space for you to sit down and take a breather.
7) If Something is Not Right, You Don’t Have to Suffer in Silence
Here at the SU we really want you to have the best experience possible while at university, and our security will do their best to ensure your safety during nights out.
If you have an unpleasant experience or something difficult happens during or after a night out speak up and seek help immediately,
In day time our Student Advice Centre and the University Support and Guidance Team are here to help, so do reach out, and they will do their best to support you!
