The Youngest Sister
How being the youngest sister prepared me for my career in UX Design.
Being the youngest sister in a family of four girls has always been nothing short of challenging for me. The chances of creating a definitive identity in an environment of three other very established and very assertive females were not stacked in my favor. Things were certainly not made any easier for me considering the fact that my parents had, inadvertently according to them, given each of us names that began with “S” and that sounded relatively close to each other: Sharolyn, Stephanie, Stacy, and me, Shelly. (Did I mention that my mother’s name is Sharon?! Surely you can imagine the tongue twisting predicament people find themselves in when attempting to call one of us.) Now, I’ve been told that this wasn’t exactly planned until I came along because my parents thought if I didn’t have an “S” name like my older sisters, I would feel left out. Little did they know I’d be trying for the rest of my early youth to separate myself in every way possible.
Throughout the duration of my elementary adventures I was always recognized as the youngest Awerika sibling by all of the teachers. To add insult to injury, I would often find myself being asked very pointedly, “why can’t you be more like (fill in the blank with an S name)?” A question that became increasingly infuriating as time went on. So, as soon as the opportunity to liberate myself of the frustrating reality of living in the shadows of the reputation and personalities of my sisters presented itself, I took it and ran to a different middle school. The idea of finally being free of those confines gave me a fresh perspective and a new beginning. It would, sadly, be short-lived as the sanctity of this new found “safe haven” (if you can call the pre-pubescent hallways of middle school a “safe haven”) had not provided me with quite the anonymity I had initially believed and on my very first day I was mistaken for my older sister Stephanie by my homeroom teacher. Apparently she had been my sister’s tennis coach. Fortunately for me it was just the one and the next two years passed by fairly uneventfully. Everyone knew me as Shelly and I carried on my merry way.
As the final few months of my carefree middle school journey were coming to a close, I began to turn my focus onward and upward to the next endeavor lying ahead of me: high school. (Que the ominous “dun dun dun”.) It was only then that I made the alarming discovery that my only choice for high school would thrust me back once again onto the path of the footsteps of my sisters before me! And if that wasn’t enough, word of my impending attendance spread so quickly that before I could even get my head around the idea of that unwanted notoriety again, I was informed that when basketball season came around I would already have a spot on the team. (This is the part where I groan in frustration.) With my sisters already having been star players on the girls’ team in the past it was assumed that I would automatically make a perfect addition; an assumption that I can tell you quite frankly did not sit well with me and as a result prompted me to choose participation on the swim team instead.
A fitting snub in my mind as the two seasons just happen to take place at the same time. And that’s how things panned out for me. Whatever the sisters before me had been involved in I did the complete opposite. If they took design and pottery, I opted for welding and silk screening and so on. Anything and everything I could do to thumb my nose at the establishment and carve out my own path I did. And so it went for the remainder of my high school career.
So, what did it all mean in the end? Was I just destined to live a life devoid of that definitive identity I had sought for so long? Would I always just be the youngest Awerika sister who undoubtedly had the inherit skill to excel at everything her siblings did in her stead? Well, to answer that let’s flash forward to present day life and examine how things are now. Even as I write this I can make out, to some degree, the arguing over some silly toy my two beautiful boys are desperately making their separate case to play with. And if I go to my window I can look out and see my husband “puttering in the yard” as he says. As for my sisters, don’t get me wrong, I love my sisters! In fact, I made them bridesmaids at my wedding.
We are closer than ever and still share every aspect of our lives to this day. They along with my mom and husband have been some of my biggest supporters and have encouraged me to take that first step whenever I felt discouraged. I just never liked being compared to their skills or who they are because even though we share so much and have so many things in common, we are all different.
Mostly what I would like to impart is that, on my journey to finding and becoming myself, I was always trying new and different things. As a now wife, mother, daughter, sister, student, and future UX designer, I no longer confine myself to one identity. I’ve embraced my surroundings and am who I am largely in part of everyone and everything around me. In and of my struggles I’ve developed skills that help me on a daily basis and have become a huge advocate of jumping at new opportunities if they excite you. You’ll either fall on your face or excel to a place you would’ve never expected. Either way you’ve got nothing to lose!
