Who Am I Doing This for, Again?
David Zucker is done with trying to look like a model.
By David Zucker
I have never been out of shape. That’s not to say I’ve been in shape, either, unless you count a line as a shape. I’m one of those sickening assholes who eat anything and everything they want to excess, then smile and walk away from the table in their “30” jeans.
The converse of this description might be a tad more relevant to my own life: I was a scrawny man. I was never fat, but I was never strong, cut, chiseled, hulking, toned, or even Jerseylicious. At best I was “thin” or “slim.”
After graduating college, however, I found myself in the startling but magically freeing predicament of having a small savings, no student loans, no bills, no relationship, really no need of any kind to earn money, and thus an incredible amount of free time with which to pen the book I’d been saying I’d write all through school. You may now proceed to the comments section to rail against the skinny lazy man who still seems poised to complain.
And complain I will, because I found myself studying the cast of Jersey Shore like Jane Goodall and a band of gorillas, noting that while they were sociologically atypical in many ways, their propensity for weightlifting seemed more in line with my own friends’…
