Why We Don’t Leave
Abuse comes in many different forms. Leaving isn’t always easy.
By Tony Divossi
Imagine that one of your best friends told you, in confidence, that their partner was abusive. Whether physical, emotional, financial, or in whatever other way, this friend’s partner had crossed the line. Your friend hasn’t had the guts to tell many people yet; they don’t know what to do, and you’re the first person they’ve asked for advice.
So what do you tell them?
LEAVE, right?
And then you’re surprised when they don’t go. You’re frustrated, you want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them, you want to scream that they’re just setting themselves up for more of this treatment. Sure, your friend tells you that their partner apologized and swore it would never happen again, and things are looking and feeling great once more, they appreciate your concern, but they’re going to try and get through it.
So you wait, because you’re sure it’s going to happen again, and this friend will need you once more. Or else you distance yourself, because your friend is sitting on a ticking time bomb and they didn’t take your advice anyway, so it’s their problem, right? Or something in between. If you’re a very proactive friend, you might even tell that friend’s partner that…
