Good Bye, Joel
And, Thank You for Being a Friend
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Last Monday, I talked to Joel Frederick on the phone as I was driving home from work. I had called and left a messaging saying I wanted to touch base with him on the updates that we would be making to the Shepherd Maple Syrup Festival website. This would have been our seventh year working together on the site.
He called me back, and the conversation was a pretty good representation of how many conversations with Joel would go. He told me that he had just gotten done helping a friend out with their clogged kitchen sink. He had gone over to their house, checked out the situation, knew what to do, and then showed them how to fix their problem. Hopeful, I said that we had been experiencing a similar-sounding issue in our bathroom sink. His friend’s clog had more to do with food getting stuck, but Joel had some ideas about how I could solve my problem.
He said he would be happy to come over some time to take a look and help me fix things. That was Joel, always willing to help whether you had a question involving cars, home maintenance, computers, or needed general advice.
The last thing we talked about was some of the improvements he has been making to the Shepherd Maple Syrup Festival website. He had been working on a module which would have shown updates on the site’s homepage in a cool and new way.
Yesterday afternoon as my son, Elijah, and I were walking back home from the library I briefly thought about swinging by just to say hello and pick up where we left off with the discussion about the SMSF website. But, Elijah needed lunch, and I wasn’t even sure if Joel was home. If he had been, I know that he would have made time for me even he was busy. I chose to head straight for home.
I learned today that Joel passed away last night.
I first met Joel at a committee meeting for the Shepherd Sesquicentennial committee, but we became friends later through church (we both attended the Shepherd Methodist Church for a while). We always shared an interest in technology and web design and talked about it a lot, but we also discussed a wide range of subjects like work or life. I learned a lot from talking to Joel.
We became collaborators on the SMSF website shortly after the site’s original developer, Jim Bush, passed away. We both agreed that the website was an important tool for communicating information about the festival, and that it should continue. The site slowly evolved over the years as Joel updated it. I leaned towards managing the content as well as the social media pages such as the profiles on Facebook and Twitter.
The best thing about working with Joel was that he brought balance to my thinking about technology, and not only when I was working on the festival website. He was often the pragmatist, listening to my ideas about how something could be done and then asking those important questions such as “Why?” and “Wouldn’t this other way be better?” He kept me grounded in my thinking, almost to the point where I would only need to ask myself what Joel might say. He was always honest and direct, but also sensitive to my feelings.
Joel was one of the most knowledgeable, well-rounded, and good natured people that I knew, and a good friend. You always had the sense that he wanted to do the right thing, something I admired. He also had a unique sense of humor that often threw me for loop. He teased, but it was in a fun way.
I’ll miss Joel. We were just volunteers for the Shepherd Maple Syrup Festival, but when we worked together on the site I felt more like we were business partners. After church, I’d look for Joel so I could tell him hello. He was always ready to shoot the breeze whether it was in person or over the phone.
As I contemplate what life will be like without being able to call Joel up on the phone, or catch up with him after a church service, I can’t help but wonder what our conversation on Saturday might have been like. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 so this will be less about what I might have actually said, and a little more about what I would say now if I had the opportunity.
Me: Hey.
Joel: Oh, hey Jon (he would have said something really clever or offbeat).
Me: Listen, Joel, I was stopping by to talk about the site, but first I wanted to let you know that I’ve really been fortunate to have you as a friend for all of these years. It’s easy to take someone for granted, especially the people who you value the most, but this is really a mistake because you never know how much time you have.
I’ve learned a lot from you over the years and I really enjoyed the work we’ve done together on the SMSF website. We’ve always been a great team, but even more incredibly you’ve always been able to “get” me and my ideas, even when you didn’t quite understand them. You have not only inspired me to try harder professionally, but you’ve inspired me to try to be a better person. I’m a different person by knowing you and, if anything were to happen to you, I want to let you know that I would always be grateful for having known you.
So, thank you very much for everything you’ve done.
My thoughts and prayers are with his wife, Sheila, and son Zachary. Joel was an all around great guy.
Originally published at docs.google.com.
