Connections Make You Naturally High whereas Disconnection Causes Physical Pain

By now most of us know that falling madly in love is associated with Dopamine, a chemical that fuels pleasure. One that is found in drugs. Completely fascinating, you feel alive. You are aware of your surroundings. You are happy. You are in that state of mind, of complete satisfaction. You glow. At that moment, you want nothing else out of this world. You smile when you are alone, and you really mean it.

What then happens when you are not? Feeling cut off and lonely fuels the Anterior Cingulate Cortex, the part of the brain associated with physical pain.

But then why does biology seem to punish us? Isn’t it bad enough that you are lonely, feeling disconnected? Does it also have to induce physical pain among us?

That sounds like a challenge to me. I mean how many people do you currently know who are madly in love? How many stayed in love, let alone are still “madly” in love?

Does this mean if am not madly in love I would be stimulating physical pain to myself even though I am just chilling at my couch drinking coco?

The good news is: the answer is ‘No’. No physical pain there. But how?

Its not about love. I mean it’s not “only” about love. It’s that magical moment you experience with people, things or experiences. Whatever it is.

Personal relationships usually take the course of let’s get to know each other, before I trust you. Yet, we still see couples who click, get married in 2 month, and then 20 years later are as happy as they are when they first met.

I remember the first conversation I had with my best friend. We have just met and we kept on chatting until 6 am in the morning. That moment is the moment we knew we are going to be friends for life. Even when days, months even pass and we meet, the conversation starts where we have left off as if it was just yesterday.

Even at work, you would find those teams that spark. You want to be part of them. Together they face challenges that others condemn as a waste of time, and only because they have each other to rely on, they succeed. They come up with the most creative solutions they wouldn’t have thought of if not for each other. In fact, they would have given up long time ago.

The connection doesn’t always have to be something new. It can be in fact something that has revived or reborn, like a conversation with your parent or sibling, when you connect on a different level, when after all those years you can discover something new, something exotic, that creates that connection you are looking for or never really expected.

There are those other magical moments when you drive your favourite car, when you go to a new place, when you read a fascinating book, when you discover a new hobby, when you eat new food, when you listen to your favourite music, when you hike or take a walk, or when you connect to a new neighbourhood, a place, a country.

Let’s recap… Shall we? Not only love makes you happy. Connections do. Love is a connection that makes you happy. There are also many other connections out there waiting for your call.

The possibilities are endless. Look out for those magical moments. We just have to grab them when they show up and not let them go.

We are born to be naturally high, we are just bound to ignore it.

Reference: Click by Ori Brafan and Rom Brafman