By understanding suffering we can live happier lives
My goal in life is simple. I want to be happy.
But happiness only exists because of suffering. It’s entirely relative. Without experiencing negative emotions, the positive wouldn’t be positive anymore. They would just ‘be’.
As much as I seek positive experiences to help me in my quest for happiness, deep down I know that permanent happiness isn’t a realistic goal.
It’s not a state that can be attained permanently.
It takes constant work and evaluation.
Most importantly, happiness requires an understanding of suffering.
As a society, we don’t talk about suffering, but it’s impossible to avoid.
Nobody wants to suffer.
It’s not enjoyable.
But ultimately, suffering effects us all.
Suffering is inevitable because humans are driven by desire.
We are always looking for more and believe that happiness is something that should be served to us on a plate, and not something we have to work for.
This sense of entitlement keeps us searching for unrealistic levels of happiness, which really don’t exist.
Even when we work for it, we become discouraged because of its fleeting nature.
The fact that we all experience suffering should help us to be empathetic towards others who suffer. Unfortunately, it’s rarely the case.
We have a misunderstanding of happiness, which is only exacerbated by the stigma which surrounds mental health problems.
As a society, we are scared to face the reality that suffering is perfectly normal.
We are ashamed of talking about suffering, and consequently, some people bottle it up until they see no other way out.
The incredibly high rates of suicide do nothing but support this notion.
Suffering isn’t easy. We have an aversion to it.
As a native English speaker, the word itself causes unpleasant feelings whenever it leaves my mouth.
We don’t like to think of suffering as an inevitable symptom of the human condition.
We deny it. We fight it. We do almost anything we can to avoid it.
We need to accept its place in our make-up.
When we accept it as being part of who we are, and by acknowledging its impermanence and normality we can make a realistic plan for dealing with it.
When it feels like you are trapped in a hole and you can’t escape your cycle of suffering, just remember: everything will eventually come to an end.
Just as you were once happy before the suffering, you will again find happiness.
“The answer to the problem of suffering is not away from the problem but in it. The inevitability of pain will not be met by deadening sensitivity but by increasing it, by exploring and feeling out the manner in which the natural organism itself wants to react and which its innate wisdom has provided.”
Alan Watts
Everyone fights the same demons, they just have different faces and different weaknesses. We each need to find our own tools for fighting them and to not be afraid to reach out to others and talk about our suffering.
By accepting the fact that suffering is a normal part of life, we in a better position to work towards the elusive and bittersweet goal that drives us all: happiness.
