KP, Nurse, New York City
By Sam Chennault
Shift Change tells the stories of ordinary people on the frontlines during a transformational period in American life. The goal of this project is to raise funds for Supply Drop Brooklyn, a charitable organization that partners with local restaurants to deliver meals to healthcare workers at affected hospitals. Your help can make a critical difference. Please visit Supply Drop and learn how you can make a contribution. For more information about this project, check out our About page.
KP is a nurse in New York City. This is their story.
What is your profession?
I’m a registered ICU nurse in Manhattan at Mount Sinai Hospital. I just passed my year-and-a-half mark earlier this month. It was my first job right out of college. I studied nursing in school and, when I graduated, I wanted to jump right into the field. I didn’t want to waste any time doing anything else.
What appealed to you about becoming a nurse?
The idea that you can give someone’s health back to them. Everyone has dreams, and everyone wants to do good things with their lives, but, ultimately, that’s all dependent on your health. If you have good health, you can achieve whatever you aspire to. If you have bad health, then your life is turned upside down.
Now it’s painfully obvious how high of a value people put on their health when their friends and family members are getting sick. There’s an outpouring of appreciation. I wish that people had made decisions that made our country’s healthcare system more prepared for this pandemic. There were a lot of decisions made that led us down a difficult path.
Do you think that people will begin to look at reforms to our healthcare system more structurally?
I can only hope so. I hope that we make changes politically that create a more equitable healthcare system, and one that isn’t so difficult to provide primary care needs to all people. I hope we have better health literacy and that we have better health outcomes, especially for people who are poor or of color. A majority of patients I see [with the virus] are either black or Latino, or have other health issues. A lot of them come from low-income neighborhoods and don’t have access to healthcare.
How has your life changed since the coronavirus struck?
My daily habits have changed. I find myself trying to limit what I bring in from the hospital. I strip at the door and go straight to the shower. I spend a lot of time thinking about it. My off-time is spent gaining knowledge that will impact my care. I find my life is utterly consumed by this. I spend less time caring for myself, and more time caring for others. My mental health has changed.
What type of emotional support unit is around you?
I have my close friends and I have my family, but a lot of it is isolation. I live alone. It’s a blessing, but it’s hard to live alone when everyone is isolated. What I need is someone around me to help me get through most days. I get by, but it’s difficult. It’s hard to receive the support you need over the phone all the time.
Do you think there’s been an institutional acknowledgement of the toll this is taking on healthcare workers?
No, not at all. There was the story of the doctor who just committed suicide and that rang the bell for a lot of people, but my fear is that it’ll be swept away under the rug. I don’t want her death to be something that is a tragedy and we move on. A lot of things that healthcare workers have been dealing with are not new. Ultimately, it sheds light on the topic of how we care for the people who care for us, and there’s not enough support for healthcare workers.
Do you think this structural re-evaluation of our healthcare system extends to mental health?
Yeah, an overhaul will be a necessity. But I don’t think it’ll happen any time soon. It’ll happen piece-by-piece. Our healthcare system is not set up for this collective trauma. It isn’t prepared for it.
What are your hopes?
I hope that people gravitate towards one another more genuinely and authentically. I think that people will appreciate the value of friendships and of being with each other. I hope that people understand what it means to lose someone.
What are you listening to?
I listen to a lot of classical music. I was trained classically as a pianist. I find a lot of solace in music and art. I listen to Ramin Djawadi. It helps me focus, especially if I’m at work and need some time to myself. If I have a five-minute break, I’ll play that music. It’s very soothing and focusing.
