Who lives next door to you? Do you know their name? What they do?
What about two doors down? Above you?
I moved into my new apartment 4 months ago, and with the exception of one quick hello and an “good on you for running”, I have not interacted with my neighbours at all.
This is not unusual at all in London — a city where people actively avoid eye contact, and please PLEASE do not talk to me on the Tube. London is a city where people are always on the go, busy, going to one event or meeting up with another group. It is also the loneliest city in the UK.
A couple of years ago I set up the London chapter of Tea with Strangers in an attempt to help people feel more connected to their community around them. It brought together groups of 6 strangers for 2 hours of meaningful conversation. I had the chance to meet many interesting, inspiring, different people who I otherwise wouldn’t have. It made me feel a little more comfortable talking to a stranger and it made me a lot more aware that all the bodies I passed each day have their own life. But it didn’t quite make me feel more connected to my surrounding community.
The other day, while on holiday and out of the country, I realised that I desperately want to get to know my neighbours. I am lucky to live on a beautiful street, surrounded by lovely homes — each one containing a story, a life, another mind, a helping hand, or a person in need. And I was determined to try and get to know them. So I grabbed my phone and texted my roommate:
And easy as that we set a date, got some notes and got writing. We invited them round for an informal tea, a chat, and a chance to get to know your neighbours. Despite sending it out the day before, we got 3 positive responses (and a couple of invites still visible in postboxes). Of those 3, 1 family came round. Our immediate neighbours, whose kids we hear every morning. A chance to connect with the people behind the muddy shoes left outside their door. The second response was a voicemail apologising for receiving the note too late, but hoping to join in next time. The third was the best. Flat 1 residents of the block next door. They emailed saying that they would love to come round. However, this morning, they apologise saying that some friends had called by unexpected and that they were having a bbq and wouldn’t be able to make it, but would we like to come round?
An invitation for connection warmly accepted and reciprocated in one go. More about the meeting in a future SFD, but just to say, having now connected, even briefly, with a couple of my neighbours, I do feel that little bit more grounded here.
All it took was 2 hours, a couple of notes, and the courage to break out from the norm of isolation.
When are you going to knock on your neighbours door?
