Welcome to ShlinkedIn

Opp T. Mize
Nov 1 · 3 min read
ShlinkedIn is a strange, special place.

In the deep recesses of the internet, nestled snugly between endless rows of 0s and 1s, there is a valuable social media post. In that post, you’ll find genuine human compassion, perspective-altering advice, and information that’ll get the gears of your higher-order thinking churning. You probably won’t ever see that post, though. It’s been buried in an avalanche of vapid thought leadership, inane workplace inspiration and shameless (and unchecked) self-promotion.

What does this mean?

Well, for starters, LinkedIn is fucking stupid.

Business is everything.

An echo-chamber where everyone can claim to be a business leader of some sort, LinkedIn has become more of a funhouse mirror than any of its social media cohorts (though granted it has done less harm to American democracy), by virtue of facilitating online dialogue that no one believes to be sincere.

John Herrman, who covers tech for the New York Times, notes in a recent piece that with the 2016 acquisition by Microsoft, LinkedIn “affirmed its dual identity” as “a networking site for hiring and getting hired” and as “a place for professionals.” Herrman continues, in a parenthetical, by clarifying that “professionals” really just means “anyone with a LinkedIn account.”

Enter… ShlinkedIn.

Idealistic rambling aside, here at ShlinkedIn we believe two things.

1) Very little on LinkedIn matters, and quite a bit of the content and culture it churns out can be toxic. It does not make people happier and it lowers the bar for what being smart, or being a “professional”, is.

2) We could all benefit from more people seeing how ridiculous LinkedIn culture has become.

On ShlinkedIn, we’re all titans of industry, and titans of industry are all idiots. Come share how you’ve failed the business world — Did your startup flop? Did you make a stupid math error on a spreadsheet? Odds are, it doesn’t matter. Most stuff doesn’t. LinkedIn doesn’t get that. Let’s bring a little yin to LinkedIn’s yang. Frankly, it’s absurd that LinkedIn has gotten this big without being made fun of more as a completely inoffensive space where meh minds can meet and drool over half-inspired ramblings from Richard Branson or Gary Vaynerchuck.

Herrman continues, in a parenthetical, by clarifying that “professionals” really just means “anyone with a LinkedIn account.”

We’re crowd-sourcing satire for the greater good. Social media is a joke, and we should embrace that. Join us. Be honest, stupid, bizarre. Advertise how little you know. Above all else, don’t take yourself too seriously. Otherwise two twenty-somethings might think you’re an idiot and build a whole ecosystem around dismantling the culture you’ve joined.

Join us today:

ShlinkedIn

A satirical social network where we’re all Thought Leaders, Disruptors, and Titans of Industry

Opp T. Mize

Written by

ShlinkedIn

A satirical social network where we’re all Thought Leaders, Disruptors, and Titans of Industry

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