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Tomorrow’s Headlines Today
Hundreds of Canadians Rounded Up for Deportation
April 23: Trump golfs.
My father is the best golfer. Ever. He can beat anyone. My father was brutally attacked on the seventh hole of his golf course in New Jersey yesterday by a dive-bombing Canada goose that shat on his MAGA hat. I want that goose to know his goose is cooked! My father is signing an executive order to send all Canada geese back to Canada. Effective immediately! ~ DJT Jr.
April 24: Trump continues his winning streak. “So much winning.” He has won every tournament at all 900 of his U.S. private courses and is buying Mills Park in Calzoncillos to turn it back into a golf course.
April 25: Lucy inspects Mills Park while we still have a nice, cool snow-melt stream flowing through it and no golfers.
“Where did they go, George?”
“There has always been a gaggle of geese here. But not today. Very strange. Is that a Tesler rocket?”
