MAY I PROMPT YOU IN A SHORT & WEIRD WAY?

Officer Frankenstein and the Crazy Things He Sees in the Park

Just a normal day in a normal urban park

Ten minutes into my shift and the squirrels are already at it. Image by me and AI

There was only one way to get out of Frank’s lab and that was to sign up for the police force. They took me right away, on account of my towering height, immense strength, and unique appearance.

Like all civil service roles, being a cop means I’ve a job for life. They can’t ever fire me even though I turned out to be a pretty crappy police officer. Too lonely and sensitive, they said.

So I’ve been relegated to park duty.

I don’t mind. It gets me out in nature. The rats and dog turds fill me with a cosy sense of wellbeing.

Let me tell you, though, I’ve seen some crazy things while patrolling the park.

Squirrel fight club

The squirrel community has taken over the park every Wednesday morning for their fight club. They use acorns to place bets on the winning squirrel. Their teeny-tiny boxing gloves are super sweet, but squirrel fight club is serious business. And it’s best you don’t talk about squirrel fight club…

Sad writers group