if you have to read the kicker to know this is satire, check out the tags

“The pay rate didn’t change. We are still getting the same salaries and benefits.”

A much-needed clarification

Rare portrait of the CEO in his youth (by Aldo De La Paz)

In an exclusive interview with the CEO of a platform we won’t name, Smillew (the name has been changed) confirmed what many had been saying in parentheses.

“There has been a misunderstanding. Our customers are the readers, not the writers,” Smillew said as an opening statement, which was innocuous enough until he kept speaking.

“Writers are self-aggrandizing and delusional egomaniacs, but apart from the very best, they are all easily replaceable.”

That would have hurt if I weren’t part of the very best.

“Writers think everything is about them and lack self-awareness,” he added. “After reading the previous sentence, 94% of them will discount the statement because they believe to be part of the very best.”

I felt seen.

“That explains why my recent words have been misinterpreted. I told everyone the pay rate didn’t change, and the writers thought I was referring to them. But I wasn’t. They didn’t let me finish my sentence.”

Smillew (the CEO) smiled at that point. He knew he was making an effect. He had me curious, and he visibly enjoyed being in charge. He delighted in having power.

“The pay rate didn’t change. My employees and myself are still getting the same salaries and benefits.”

He looked at me.

“See? Writers thought I was referring to their earnings, but they were wrong. I don’t care. It was always about me.”