Poolside

Ty-

Tyler!

SHE SPLASHED ME.

No I didn’t.

Come on, Meredith, I saw you.

Dad, he was looking at me.

Don’t let it bother you.

Both of you stop splashing.

I WANT TO GET OUT, MOM.

Five more minutes, Tyler. We’re relaxing.

THIS IS BORING. THERE ISN’T EVEN A DIVING BOARD.

Ty, do you think you can break the record — stay under for ten seconds.

YEAH.

Ok, ready?

YEAH — WAIT — YEAH.

Go!

Dad?

Yeah, darling?

Do I have to wear a dress tonight?

Yes, Meredith. We’re going to a nice restaurant.

I was asking dad.

Listen to your mom, Mer.

BUHAAA — HOW LONG, DAD?

You beat the record!

I DID?

Twelve seconds.

OH MAN. TWELVE! I’M SPIDERMAN!

Spiderman doesn’t swim and dad wasn’t even counting.

Stop that. Yes I was.

No, you were talking to me.

I was using my fingers — come on, Mer, leave him alone.

I WANT TO TRY AGAIN!

Tyler, keep your eyes shut when you’re underwater.

WHY?

They’re getting bloodshot and we have to go to dinner.

BUT I NEED TO SEE!

Tyler.

MOM!

Sarah, we don’t have to be there until six.

Does Tyler have to wear his tie?

I know we don’t have to be there until six but you know how bloodshot his eyes get.

I NEED TO SEE!

Ok Ty, last time with eyes open. If you try to break the record after that it’s with eyes closed.

THEN I’LL NEVER BREAK THE RECORD!

Yes you will, dummy. You can hold your breath longer as you get older.

Don’t call him a dummy

Ty, we’ll come back to the pool tomorrow and you can keep your eyes open everytime. We aren’t going to a nice restaurant tomorrow.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO TO ONE TONIGHT?

Because Mr. Reed is rich.

That’s not why, Meredith!

Yes it is.

WHY?

Because we’re having a nice evening.

SOUNDS BORING.

Mr. Reed has a son your age.

CAN’T WE STAY HOME THEN?

We don’t know any sitters in this town, Tyler.

It’ll be fun, Ty.

NO IT WON’T, IT’LL BE BORING.

Ty, the nice thing about nice restaurants is that when you have dinner, you pay a little extra so that they really care that you’re happy.

WHY DON’T YOU JUST PAY MOM?

Tyler!

That’s not how it works — do you want to try to break the record again?

NO, I WANT TO GET OUT.