Finding Meaning in your Work

Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash

You’re probably thinking that this is going to be clickbait. That I’m going to talk about how you can change your career in 7 easy steps or find happiness in your work by making 10 small changes. While I will write about how in 5 years I did a 180 on my career, found myself working in a role that is perfect for me, for a company where I feel supported and capable of growing, this is NOT a fluff piece. This is my personal story about how in 2012, I was in a very dark place. I hated my job, I made all the wrong decisions in my personal life, I felt burdened by other people’s problems; I felt lonely, helpless and lost.

For me, it started in high school. You’re put in this position where you have to decide your entire future at the age of 16–17 years old, sometimes even earlier. You’re asked to identify the career you want to pursue so you can select the ‘right’ course at university to achieve this goal. You attend university, you complete the ‘right’ degree and by the age of 22, you’re working in your supposed ‘right’ industry. You keep working in this industry because it’s what you studied to do. You invested your time and money to attend university so you need to make sure you make the most of it, even if you’re unhappy. Alternatively, you started working a job because you needed a job and it was there, or maybe because you wanted to focus on making money instead of spending time at university. You stayed with that job because, hey, it’s a job. Sure it might not be that challenging, but it pays the bills.

When I was in high school, I thought I wanted to study International Relations at university and eventually transfer to study Law. That’s what I had been told was the ‘best’ career path. I recall mentioning to my dad once that I wanted to study design at TAFE. His response:

“Only people who can’t get into university go to TAFE”.

Maybe that was my dad, but I felt that society also puts this pressure on students. That in order to be successful, you had to attend university. I want to point out here that I do not believe that studying or not studying at university is better than the other. I merely want to point out that depending on the person and what was being studied, different learning scenarios are required. I.e. I wouldn’t go to university to learn to be a plumber or a builder, however, that’s not to say being a plumber or a builder means you are any less successful than someone who studied at university.

When I graduated from school, I was accepted into UNSW and started my tertiary education, taking International Relations subjects, however, in my first year, I realised that International Relations was NOT what I wanted to do as a career, nor was Law, and I actually wanted to pursue a career in Education. I had some really amazing high school teachers who gave me a passion for English and History and I wanted to do what they did. So I changed degrees, and in 2008, I graduated with a BA / B Ed. and dived straight into my teaching career working as a high school English and History teacher.

I thought that this was it for me, I would teach secondary English and History and be content for the rest of my life. However, I wasn’t. In fact, my indecisiveness in university should have been a warning sign. As I grew older I realised that while I enjoyed teaching, it didn’t make me happy or content. Once again I’d like to point out that I don’t believe that work should always make you feel happy and content, however, considering on average, one third of our lives is spent at work, I’d like to think that having some job satisfaction is important.

While I was teaching, I felt like I had never left school. I had gone straight from being a student in high school, to being a student at university and even though I was now a teacher at school, I was still in that same environment. While I enjoyed working with most people, I didn’t like the work environment I found myself in. I realised that 26 year old me had outgrown 19 year old me and that it wasn’t fair for me or to the students to continue teaching.

Trying to leave the career I had chosen as a teenager was not an easy process. I agonised over the years spent at university, my HECS debt (that I still have not paid off completely). So many questions ran through my mind that I did not have any answers to.

What I would do if I didn’t teach? What skills did I have that could translate to other industries?

On one day, I would decide that I would leave and then the next day I would change my mind as I thought about how hard it would be to break into a new industry where I would be the rookie again or the commitment I had made as a teenager when I decided to be a teacher. I thought about my parents who had stayed in the same industry and job for 30 years (worked in the same job from ‘cradle to grave’) and would convince myself that I could see this through.

In 2013, I moved to London to teach and travel hoping that a change in environment, away from the burdens of life would revive my passion for teaching. I don’t know if any of you have taught in the London, but it is a totally different teaching environment to Sydney, or at least different to the schools that I had taught at. However, running away from my problems did not help. Even though I was in a different country having an amazing experience meeting new people and travelling, I wasn’t happy in my job and I became more and more dissatisfied and disillusioned.

I realised I needed to I take the time to really think about myself. I had never really sat down and put to paper how I saw myself. I’d always been very good at hiding my needs and adapting to the situation, so good that I had hidden who I was from the person who really need to know; me. Taking the time, I thought about what my strengths were. What my weaknesses were. What were the tasks that I enjoyed in my current role and the tasks I definitely DID NOT enjoy. My disillusionment with teaching and the difficulties in my personal life at the time provided me with the first step to a better understanding of what I did and did not want and what direction I wanted to head in (anywhere other than where I was at the time!).

I won’t lie, the process of growth and change was not easy, especially when I was in denial about what I wanted and still felt the burden of familial expectations (real or imagined). When I decided to leave teaching, I had no idea what I was going to do and felt aimless. Even though I knew I wanted to work in an environment where transparency and hard work were valued, making that a reality was a different story. In mid 2013, I officially stopped teaching in London and found a temporary role as an office admin for a local council handling their school admissions. It felt like a safe step because even though I had left teaching, I was still in education. I knew it wasn’t a long term solution, but it gave me breathing space and furthermore, it provided the opportunity for me to experience a work environment that was still similar to the teaching environment, but different enough for me to gain a new experience. I stayed in this role for 5 months as I let myself decompress and enjoy life.

Thanksgiving November, 2013 I spent with my older sister who lived and worked in New York. I had always admired her work ethic, tenacity and dedication. It seemed like she always had it together. She studied psychology and HR in university, graduating in 2004. She got her first job working at a recruitment agency, moved to London in 2006, worked for Google there, moved to New York in 2007 and got a job that sponsored her (mind you this was a time when you only had a visitors pass for 6 weeks as opposed to 3 months in the US) and has been there ever since. I have always unfairly compared myself to her and it has taken me a very long time to realise that we are very different people. She has always been my number one fan, supportive of me and pushing me on my journey to realise who I was and what I really wanted.

That Thanksgiving, my sister shared with me that her friend who works for a well known startup, Yelp, told her they were looking to hire for Account Executives in London and that I should apply. I initially hesitated. I didn’t even know what an Account Executive was let alone what they did. Furthermore, I had never worked in the private sector before.

I made excuse after excuse about why I shouldn’t apply. I didn’t have any experience, I was too old, what if I couldn’t do it and I got fired?

Eventually I applied and to my surprise, I got an interview and even more to my surprise, I was hired. They had obviously seen something in me that I didn’t even see in myself. This opportunity taught me so much about myself and the type of work environment I wanted to work in. I realised that while I could do sales and business development, it wasn’t something I enjoyed doing and that I loved working in a friendly collaborative environment. Yelp introduced me to the exciting world of startups and technology and I knew that this was the type of environment I wanted to be a part of.

Following Yelp, I returned to Sydney, Australia in March 2015 with zero savings and was living in my friend’s sunroom. I saw a job ad for an admissions role at General Assembly and applied. While I didn’t get the admissions role, they did think I would be better suited for an upcoming role and I was hired as a course producer managing their full time courses. If you’re unfamiliar with General Assembly, they are an education startup that runs courses in technology and design. It was here that I finally started to realise what I was good at doing and what I felt good doing. I realised that I was good at planning and time management, organisation, managing and working with others, and bringing teams together. It was working at General Assembly that provided the springboard for me to move into a product owner role for an agency and when I transitioned across, everything clicked.

I finally felt like I was in a job that was right for me, working in an industry and environment that perfectly suited my personality.

Why did this role feel like it fit? As a product owner, you guide the vision of the product, you prioritise what needs to be built and you communicate with the team to get the job done. There are other responsibilities and the role can change from company to company, but when I landed in this role, I knew that my personal strengths were suited for this sort of role and I found that the work environment, and the work itself, was suited to me.

Unfortunately, just as I was finding my feet, feeling like I had found the perfect job for me, disaster struck. The agency I worked for became insolvent and I was made redundant. I’ve been made redundant before, but never in such circumstances. To make matters worse, it was a week before my 30th birthday, I had only recently moved into a new house, spending too much money furnishing it and setting myself up thinking that my job was secure and I was finally in a good place.

I think back to that situation now and I realise how foolish I had been at the time. I had always been really good at keeping myself secure, but the cost of changing careers had taken an emotional and financial toll. My time in London was not exactly a financially stable time as I’m sure a lot of you who have done the two years abroad would be able to relate to. I also wasn’t in London to save money. It was more a time for self discovery, travel and experiences. When I moved back to Sydney and worked at General Assembly, the salary was significantly less than teaching, but I accepted it because I wanted to make a change. It was only whenI moved into the product owner role at the agency did I begin to earn a more secure income. The three years spent transitioning my career had also brought to the surface a lot of my fears of inadequacy and failure. I had enough money to pay a months rent and I didn’t know what to do.

However, we now get to the exciting part of the story. The part where it all comes together and brings me to where I am now. While I was devastated, disappointed and shaken by the previous situation, I think back on it as the launch pad to get to where I am now and I’m thankful for that. Without the collapse of that agency, I would not be at Shortlyster working in a role that is me to a T, working for a company that values my opinions and also upholds that same values that I uphold. I wake up most mornings and I’m excited to go to work and get the job done because I know that most of the tasks that I have to do are things that I enjoy.

Don’t get me wrong, there are still tasks within my day to day role that I don’t love, but they don’t compare to the tasks that I get to do that I really enjoy. Furthermore I get to work in a collaborative environment with a team that is focused and there to get the job done but also have a good time doing it. I get a boss who is understanding of my needs and is flexible and focused on outcomes as opposed to outputs. A boss who understands that I’m human and I’m not infallible. I’ve been at Shortlyster for over a year now and I cannot believe what we’ve achieved considering where we started from and I’m excited to see what we can achieve in 2018.

With every new role in the last 5 years, positive or negative, was a lesson learnt. Working as an office admin, I realised I could work in any environment as long as the people I worked with were great. I’ll never forget how friendly everyone was at the local council. The feeling of community and friendship that was in our team. At Yelp, I learnt that I wanted to work at a company that was vibrant, exciting and challenging but not competitive. At General Assembly, I rediscovered my creativity and interest in design, learnt that I wanted to work in tech and that I was good at organising people and things, and generally making things happen with limited resources. But more importantly I wanted to work at a company where I was valued as an employee. Without these experiences, I wouldn’t have the understanding of myself that I have now nor an understanding of what I wanted from a company. Despite some of the downs, I wouldn’t change any of my experiences.

In my experience, it’s never too late to change careers or to find the role that is right for you. But there are a couple of things to consider:

1. Does your lifestyle allow for you to take a salary cut if necessary to pursue something new? When I stopped teaching, I had to change a few things in my life in order to cater for the fact that while theoretically, I took a sideways step, the reality was that I took a step backwards. But I was okay with that because I knew I was moving towards a goal. It was tough. If you’ve lived in Sydney, you would understand just how tough it can be.
2. Have you thought about what you want from a job? What duties and responsibilities you enjoy and which you don’t and mapped those against any potential roles in the industry you want to jump to? Have you thought about what values are important to you, what values motivate and drive you? How do they define who you are? I mentioned in my story that with each new experience I learnt something about myself. As I learnt these things I stored them away in my mind and every time I was about to make a change or there was change in my life, I would think back to these values and my needs and wants and whether everything aligned.
3. Have you thought about what kind of a company you want to work for? How these companies align with your values and what you hold dear? What values you would be willing to sacrifice and which values are non-negotiable? This point became one of the most important points for me. With each new company that I worked for, I realised that I wanted to be valued as a person, not just another cog in the machine. I realised that I needed trust and respect in the workplace, not just the facade of trust and respect and finally I needed transparency. Every success the company had, I wanted to celebrate it. Every failure, I wanted to know and learn from it.
4. Are you ready to feel uncomfortable as you move into jobs and industries that you are unfamiliar with? Because you will feel uncomfortable. You’ll constantly be learning, so are you ready to go back to being a rookie again? To absorb new things and be open to them?

Finally, there is an inherent risk in stepping outside your comfort zone. Are you ready to take that risk? My story worked out to my benefit within 5 years but that is not always the case. It might take you longer, or it may never happen, but are you content with continuing as you are right now? You are the only one who can make that decision.