Evolution
“A butterfly does not return to a caterpillar after it is mature. We must learn to grow and evolve into a stronger, wiser and better version of ourselves. Life occurs in stages, and taking a step at a time is key to learning and growing.” Kemi Sogunle
As a child, my life was modest. Spending the major part of the day at school, returning home and completing homework was standard. Playing with friends, in the adjacent park in the evening was a daily routine.
The distractions then were minimum; there was no television at home to watch. We did have a radio that we would tune into in the evenings to either catch the news or listen to music that was of no interest to me.
As a kid, books were my world and my most significant distraction. I would look for every chance to read as I was discouraged, due to my weak eyes, from pouring over books for long periods. I got adequate opportunities every time mom was out or busy with her friends. I would read while eating with the book hidden in my lap under the table.
Often I would smuggle a book into my bed, hiding it under the covers. I invariably got caught, and the book confiscated till the next day.
I never really ran out of books. The library would issue me four books at a time and would replace them as frequently as desired. The books were hardbound for longevity, musty and worn out from being read by many. Most of my friends were avid readers too, so exchanging and sharing books was common.
That was a different era….unlike today safety was not an issue, and children could be sent unaccompanied to run errands or to their friends' homes.
As a child, I realised the value of money and rarely demanded or threw tantrums for things I wanted.
I remember my mom going to wholesale cloth markets to buy fabric and stitch dresses for me and make shirts for my brothers. The world of fancy stores and designers was unknown to us.
I had great pride telling everyone that my mom tailored most of my clothes. At that time, it never did occur to me that she was being thrifty and did not want to deprive us of the pleasure of new clothes on special occasions.
Happy memories are what I carry of my childhood with me. Never did I feel constrained, living and surrounded by love in my haven.
I was occasionally given money to have an orange bar, or indulge in some small savoury. Mom was a great cook and would indulge us by trying out new dishes. We were uncritical and would relish it all.
As the years advanced, life changed. So did I.
After marriage, eating out at restaurants became frequent. Wastage and overindulging was something my upbringing and circumstances dissuaded. So, fortunately, I persisted in being cautious and ordered wisely, as it impacted my physical and financial well being.
Clothes and the desire to be fashionable, gained significance as the years passed. The days of wearing mom stitched garments were over, and buying off stores made a big hole in my pocket.
Vanity and the need to possess the right bags, designer clothes, watches, shoes, jewellery and other material things was also a phase in my life.
It gave me a false sense of assurance and pride.
Travelling all over India along with my husband, I wanted to stay in fancy hotels instead of the service Mess. It was a frivolous desire I acquired, wishing to emulate the lifestyle of some of my acquaintances.
As your yearnings increase, simple pleasures lose significance.
I could now afford to buy new books from book stores; however, the pleasure was short-lived.
There were now many distractions, and television shows, movies, plays and socialising was more of a priority.
Excesses and indulgences cannot be longterm. I noticed the desire to eat out was reducing as heavy meals started to disagree with me giving me more of heartburn and less pleasure.
Over time, having fulfilled my desire to stay in fancy hotels, I realised how superficial I had become. Today I would opt any day to stay in a Service Mess for the warmth, service, and sense of belonging.
We humans continuously evolve, mature and change.
We seek experiences and look for gratification in what we do not have. We are afflicted with greed, and the need to achieve our goals, thinking that it will bring us happiness.
We aspire, and the moment we achieve what we have desired, it loses its significance and importance for us.
However, fulfilment is not in possessions.
Experiences and what we learn from them are significant and life-changing.
Life comes full circle.
Now I am at the stage and phase of life; all my material possessions merely add clutter. I still like to dress well and buy clothes, but the previous obsession of want no longer exists.
I have once again reverted to reading. I now have easy access to numerous books on my kindle and once again get lost in the intricacies of the plot.
Life in these unprecedented times has made me wiser.
We are now amidst a pandemic, and three months of lockdown has made me realise how little we need to lead a happy life.
Our weapons are our attitude and ability to adjust and adapt to a new lifestyle indoors. I have had time to introspect and am now embarrassed by the worldly life I led.
All that I need today is a couple of track pants and tee shirts. There is a reluctance even to open wardrobes full of formal clothes, shoes, bags and all the accessories that were a source of joy.
I have settled and accepted this new lifestyle as there is no other alternative. The boredom and restlessness that would distress me in the past have no room in my life today.
I am appreciative of my conversations with my family members and friends, happy that they are safe and healthy. There is no sense of competition, envy, desire or want that were characteristic of the life I led earlier.
“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”-Mary Engelbreit
Each morning starts with gratitude, prayers and optimism that we will emerge stronger, wiser and more aware of the dos and don’ts that will prevent such a catastrophe from occurring again!
