Minor Character Spotlight: Andy & Randy from “Sex Drive”
Let us all take a moment to appreciate a few noteworthy quotes from our boys Andy and Randy, two minor but absolutely fucking brilliant characters in the 2008 movie Sex Drive.
Allow me to set the scene. Andy and Randy are attending a house party (naturally, so tight) and they run into the party’s host, Ian, who attempts to make small talk with them.
But, the thing about Andy and Randy is… they don’t fuck around with small talk. They don’t really fuck with social skills, now that I think about it. That’s kind of what makes them so awesome.
They just jump right to asking Ian where his female friend “Felicia” is, and if he is going to make sex with her. Classic Andy and Randy!
Randy (to Ian): So where’s Felicia?
Andy: Fel-ate-cha. Yeah.
Ian: She’s in…
Andy: Fe-lay-cha! Are you banging her?
Ian: We’re just friends.
(random girl walks past them)
Randy: I’m uncircumcised!
Girl: Fuck off!
Randy: Wait, I thought you took her to prom?
Ian: Yeah, but it was a just-friends kinda thing.
Randy: You should bang her. We would.
Andy: Dude, we would bang her so hard.
Randy: Tell her we’ll bang her for you if you’re not into it!
Andy: Yeah. Hard.
Randy: With our dicks!
Andy: Yeah, our dicks are huge!
Randy: You can see them from space!
Man, I fuckin love these guys. Sure, their methods are a bit unorthodox (and probably illegal depending on who you ask) but they embody the “shooters shoot” mentality. And I’ll never fault them for that. Andy and Randy live life to the fullest, totally un-phased by social norms.
Another great Andy and Randy scene takes place in the local shopping mall when a lovely young woman makes the mistake of approaching the boys to ask if they want to donate to her charity… hilarity ensues.
Fundraising Girl: Hi. I’m collecting for the underprivileged children of Ecuador. Would you like to help?
Andy: Not really.
Randy: We don’t have any money.
Andy: No jobs.
Randy: You wanna party?
Fundraising Girl: Um, I’m kind of working right now.
Andy: When’re you done?
Randy: Yeah, what’re you doing after?
Fundraising Girl: I have a church thing tonight.
Andy: Kickass! We’ll come.
Randy: Yeah, where is it?
Andy: Is there gonna be more hot snatch like you there?
Randy: Do you wear thong underpants?
Andy: Do you want us to take our shirts off?
Randy: What color bra are you wearing?
Andy: Is your mom hot too?
Randy: Are you into me? Where do you live?
Andy: What color car do you have?
Randy: Where do you live?
Andy: What’s your address?
Randy: Do you want us to come over?
Andy: Do you like pizza?
Randy: You ever been to a motel?
Are you crying right now? Because I am fucking dead re-reading this dialogue of two dudes trying to pick up a church gal while she’s collecting money for charity.
I also appreciate the fact that they never fail to ask women if they want them to take their shirts off, which is just a preposterous move. Plus, they’ve been to a motel! What more do you want, ladies?
The line, “Do you wear thong underpants?” is so crazy… that it honestly might work. These boys even have the decency to ask church gal if her mother is hot as well. What a couple of gentlemen!
Andy and Randy are inappropriate, offensive, and irrefutably brilliant. But, despite their crass words, you can tell that they mean well. If I had the money, I would dump millions into an Andy and Randy spinoff… knowing full well that it would probably bomb. So yeah, this has been Minor Character Spotlight, folks. Catch you next time!
