Succession Season 2 Rewatch: E2 Vaulter

In these uncertain times, one thing we can all look forward to is the eventual return of HBO’s critically acclaimed series Succession for its third season.

And since I have nothing to do but sit at home watching TV, I figured it was time for a Succession rewatch, because the last thing we want to do is go into season 3 of our favorite show lost and unprepared.

So, without further preamble, here’s an in-depth recap and breakdown of season 2 episode 2 titled “Vaulter.” Written by Jon Brown and directed by Andrij Parekh.

The episode opens with a wholesome family-friendly trip to the amusement park. The whole Roy inner circle has taken a day off from infighting and scheming to come together in celebration of Kendall’s daughter’s birthday.

Tom and Greg are looking around and pointing at shit, Willa and Connor are holding hands and talking about Napoleonica or theater or Willa’s hourly rate. Kendall, of course, is walking alone. That is until Roman approaches him from behind and says a very polite good morning.

Kendall answers, “Yeah, just enjoying my daughter’s birthday, so…”

All joking aside, it is genuinely nice to see Kendall take a break from spiraling the drain to be a good dad. I forget that he has kids sometimes… But, hey! That’s why we’re doing the rewatch, folks.

Tom (former head of parks, now head of ATN) tells Shiv all about the thrilling behind the scenes details of running a park. He tells her about a parks meeting that he had to go to three months prior about— and I’m quoting verbatim here — “how to stop kids from giving each other handy-jobs on the runaway ghost train.”

“Handy jobs,” he says… And on the “runaway ghost train” no less.

Shiv, through a mouthful of popcorn, says, “I gave my first handjob on the ghost train.” SHIV! You freak.

Cousin Greg vents to the squad about problems he’s having finding a new apartment. Willa tells him that her friend is looking for a roommate but the apartment has a mold problem, adding, “I don’t know how your lungs are with spores.” Shitty, Willa, I would imagine his lungs are shitty with spores. Because they’re spores and nobody has the magical ability to breathe mold.

Greg mentions that he’s considering a place in Staten Island, which causes all of the Roy family members to laugh at him and call him poor. Connor asks if he’s thought about just staying in a hotel, to which Greg asks, “You mean like…nightly?”

And they say billionaires are out of touch…

Roman and Kendall (remember they’re co-COO’s now) are summoned to a meeting with Logan. Rome asks, “Both of us?” The assistant responds, “Yes.” This causes Roman to drop the greatest line of the episode, “Great, that’ll be fun. Beavis and Crackhead.”

Unbelievable roast. Whoever wrote that line… well done.

But he doesn’t stop there! As soon as he Ken and Shiv enter the meet with Logan, Rome promptly calls Stewy a “dildo dipped in beard trimmings.” This is an A+ Roman Roy episode so far.

The meeting is pretty short, they talk proxy battle, media coverage, legal doings, and finally, Logan asks about a company called “Vaulter” that they have invested heavily in. Since nobody can give him a convincingly positive answer, he tells Roman and Kendall to go and investigate the company. Part of Shiv’s whole “trimming the fat” plan for the future of the company.

Kendall and Roman depart together on their joint errand, Shiv leaves separately with a big smile on her face. Happy to finally be a part of the family business.

Cue the theme music.

Shiv and Tom return to their new apartment. Tom wonders allowed what they should do about a big empty wall in their living room. Tom says that, despite being incredibly gauche, he wants to put a big beautiful portrait of him and Shiv up there. He admits that this might be a bit too, “Sadam or Assady” but he likes the idea anyway.

Shiv could not possibly care less about anything that Tom says, now or ever.

Tom pivots the conversation away from interior design and onto the casual subject of their open marriage.

Remember that whole deal? Remember how right before they got married, Shiv amended their nuptial arrangements to include being able to cheat on Tom whenever she wants? Very cool of her.

Tom — shockingly cool about the whole situation — tells his wife that despite his initial reservations about jumping into a lifelong polyamorous relationship, he’s begun to “contextualize it.”

“It’s like… If I’m the king, and you’re the queen, maybe it’s fine to… fuck the odd peasant!” Says Tom, convincing himself more than his wife.

Shiv agrees, without hesitation, that this “peasant fucking” is totally fine with her.

Then Tom suddenly asks Shiv if she wants to “bang.”

She does not. Tom clarifies, “Right now. Cheeky little breakfast bang.”

This addendum doesn’t do much to help his case.

Shiv says that she can’t because she’s not in the right “mental space.”

This is what makes their open marriage so confusing to both the audience and Tom Wambsgans. It’s not like he and his wife are overly sexual people…

It’s not as if they’re not fucking so much that it’s getting boring. If they were getting physical all day every day to the point that getting other people involved was the only way to keep things interesting, that would make sense. But, that’s simply not the case.

They’re not very kinky people, so the open relationship just seems weird and non-commital. And Tom picks up on that more and more as the season goes on.

From one dysfunctional relationship to another, we cut to Kendall and Roman who have just arrived at the Vaulter headquarters. It’s a very modern, very cool media company office. We’re clearly meant to associate Vaulter with a Vice or a Deadspin type of publication. It’s like the “Dronez” episode of Documentary Now. Except, instead of being an over-the-top parody, it’s a very sad very accurate portrayal of online media/blogging in 2019–2020.

Ken and Rome meet with the Vaulter founder and CEO Lawrence Yee for a “routine health check” of his company.

They tell Lawrence that their dad, Logan, thinks that Vaulter might be a giant pile of dogshit and they need the CEO to help change Logan’s mind. They need KPIs, records, metrics, anything that could help indicate the performance of the company and its employees.

Fuck… even hearing the term “KPI” in a fictional setting stresses me out.

Back at the ATN headquarters, Tom and his new executive assistant Cousin Greg are getting ready for a meeting with Cyd Peach, a powerful female ATN executive. Tom says that he’s ready for the meeting and that he’s going to “swing the old meat mallet” by which he means his penis. This is graphic. And probably an HR violation.

Greg seems hesitant, and not because of the “meat mallet” thing. Tom asks what his deal is. Greg tells Tom that ATN (a highly conservative news network) is kind of against his principles. Tom tells Greg to stop being an asshole and that he doesn’t have any “principles.” Greg stands his ground, insisting that ATN is a very “toxic element in the culture.” Tom challenges Greg to name one principle that he has. Greg says, “I don’t know, like, I’m against racism.”

This is interesting because aside from Shiv, we never really get a solid grasp on any of the Roy family’s political beliefs. Logan certainly puts off the vibe of an old-school Republican, but, he’s also from Scotland… so, putting his beliefs into the context of American politics is tough. The Roy family as a whole is very business-oriented, so their only definable ideology is whatever makes their company successful. Greg showing his cards politically in this episode is a unique, humanizing moment for a member of the Roy clan. Even if it is Cousin Greg.

On a related note, at a political rally, Shiv and Nate Sofrelli (Shiv’s fellow political strategist and former romantic partner) chat about the fact that they recently had an affair together. Nate says that his wife doesn’t know, Shiv says that her husband does know, Nate takes issue with this, Shiv tells him that that’s his problem.

Gil — the Bernie Sanders type presidential candidate — pulls Shiv aside and tells her that the poll numbers are looking good and he’s begun thinking about cabinet positions. He tells her that he’s thinking about her for Chief of Staff.

Tom and Cyd Peach enter Peach’s office to discuss his role at ATN, Cyd tells Tom about their network’s demo, Tom makes a “burning cross” joke. Peach rhetorically asks, “You don’t share our news values?” To which Tom responds, “I’m from the midwest, my mom’s friend Deb weighs 300 pounds and she’s pissed as fuck about practically everything so, you know, trust me, I’m down. I get it.” See? Tom gets it. Cyd isn’t convinced, she asks Tom why he chose to work in news and not somewhere else life entertainment. Tom explains that news is where the action is. It’s a direct line to Logan. And it’s a perfect jumping-off point for him if he wants to ascend the Waystar corporate ladder. By this point, Peach clearly hates Tom.

After work, Shiv pays Logan a visit at his house. Her purpose is to continue their discussion about her ascension to the Waystar throne, as it were. She wants details. She wants to know that their meeting at the summer palace wasn’t all a dream. And, most importantly, she wants a timeline. When will she be CEO? Before they can dive into their discussion, Marcia auspiciously walks into the room. He tells Logan that Connor has moved into a hotel… “He rents a room, he rents a girl…” She clearly thinks Connor's a bum. Logan clearly doesn’t care about anything Connor does, as long as it doesn’t embarrass him. Before he turns back to his discussion with Siobhán, he asks Marcia if the “fucking Alexa” has been turned off and unplugged because he doesn’t want “Bezos” spying on him. Marcia exits the room.

Shiv and her dad resume their conversation. Logan, first, assuages her anxieties and tells her that she isn’t dreaming and that the CEO offer is real. Then, he proceeds to take the wind FULLY out of her sails by giving her the most deflating, runaround description of a timeline ever. He says, “Here’s how I see it. Come in. You’ll do six months with Gerri, six months with Karl, Hong Kong for say, another twelve. Uh, Berlin, or London. Management training program for six. Come back, spend twelve months alongside me. And when you’re ready, I’ll step aside.”

The look on Shiv’s face says it all…

Ah yes, in Old English that’s what they call “getting dicked around,” Shiv.

Logan maintains his position, insisting that this three-year Master’s thesis amount of work that he’s assigned his daughter is appropriate. End of meeting.

The next day, Gerri, Kendall, Roman, and Logan meet in Logan’s office to discuss the “Vaulter” issue. In other words, these four people are about to decide the fate of an entire media company in about ten minutes.

Kendall, having done the most in-depth research about the company, volunteers to present his findings first. He says that their performance may not be great on paper, but their brand is solid, their readership is sizable, their platform is growing, all they need is some adults in the room to help with content strategy, accounting, and analytics and they could be a highly successful business. This will mean investing more money into Vaulter, but, in the long term, Kendall believes it will pay off.

Roman, having done no actual research, says that he calls bullshit.

“I don’t know exactly what they’re doing, but, they’re fakes. Fucking beehives, almond milk, and “take another week on that report, matilda…” It smells wrong. And they’re hiding shit. And speaking of hiding shit, I took a couple of their writers out, got them shitfaced, and aparently, they’re looking to unionize. And fucking soon. It’s not a body pit… It’s a fucking Muesli pit. I says we shutter the fucker. Carve out the profit centers, keep the domain name and the archive. Gut level, dad, these guys aren’t coming back. They’re fucking assholes.”

Logan sides with Roman. As soon as the word unionize left Roman’s lips, it was game over. Logan’s old white ass looked like he’d seen a communist ghost. He tells Roman that he wants him with Gerri on the proxy battle, then he tells Kendall that he wants him to go and shutter Vaulter… Kendall agrees.

For a second there, we almost had old Kendall back. This Vaulter debate really lit a fire under him. Now, he’s returned to his broken-down submissive state.

Kendall leaves the meeting, heads straight to the bathroom, enters the handicap stall, and starts snorting bumps of cocaine off of his fist. Ken is officially back to spiraling the drain. As Ken exits the stall, he looks at himself in the bathroom mirror, laughs like the Joker, and throws a crumpled up paper towel at his own reflection…

From this almost poetic low-point, Kendall goes to Connor’s new hotel apartment for a sort of housewarming party. As he enters the foyer, he takes a champagne flute from a waiter’s tray and chugs it in roughly three seconds. Kendall is really on a roll this evening.

Willa gives a very underwhelming toast welcoming their guests to their home… well, their hotel.

Roman teases Connor saying, “I love what you haven’t done with the place.” Connor feigns amusement and then defends his actions by reminding Rome, “I needed a place in the city. Willa’s auditions are right around the corner. And I need a campaign headquarters!”

Oh, right, Connor’s running for fucking president. I almost forgot.

Roman asks Connor if he thinks POTUS is a natural progression for his career. From, “never done nothin’ never, to the most important job on the planet. Like, maybe get some job experience at a CVS first or give nickel handjobs under a bridge.” (Second handjob joke of the episode if you’re keeping score)

I love how this show is offering a non-partisan commentary on the topical issue of underqualified billionaires running for president in this country. It truly is beautifully done. These people live so far up their own asses and have more money than they know what to do with, so, sometimes they run for president. And sometimes we let them fucking win! Amazing.

In a different corner of the hotel room, Tom and Greg are doing some typical Tom-and-Greg scheming. Earlier in the episode, Tom asked Greg to find him some corporate fat to trim and people to fire at ATN. Greg presents Tom with his findings which could result in the firing of “30 to 50 people.” Tom replies, very excited, “I’m slavering pig-man, 50 skulls is a lot of skulls.” Greg responds, “I know, it’s goo — It’s… tons.”

Over by a window, Shiv and Roman watch Kendall who is outside on a balcony drinking whiskey by himself. Rome admits that he almost feels sorry for Ken after “emptying the contents of his scrotum at dad’s feet.”

Shiv clearly liked Vaulter and feels bad for Kendall so she ventures out onto the terrace to console her depressed brother. She tells Ken that she doesn’t agree with the move to gut Vaulter, Ken takes a drag of a cigarette and says, “Yeah, well… Dad’s right.”

Ken has gone full emo goth teenager, folks.

Shiv and Tom leave the party and head back to their new apartment (not a hotel). Shiv pour them each a fat glass of whiskey, gathers herself, and tells Tom that Logan has chosen her to be the next CEO.

Tom looks both shocked and excited for his wife. Obviously, this is huge news and he would be a dick to not be happy for her, however, it does reinforce the lopsided power dynamic in their marriage. This confirms Shiv as being the one who wears the pants (or, pants-suit, I guess) in their relationship. Not to mention the fact that she can sleep with whoever she wants. Tom has never been more “just along for the ride” than he is right now.

The next morning, Ken goes to execute the gutting of Vaulter. He accuses Lawrence Yee, in no ambiguous terms, of inflating his SEO and KPI numbers, bullshitting his traffic, and lying about their viability as a company.

Lawrence folds and admits that they had a couple of shitty traffic months because “Facebook changed their algorithm.”

Sidenote: Anyone who’s worked in online media in the past 10 years will tell you how painfully real this scene is... Any time someone says the words “Facebook” and “algorithm” in the same sentence, we all die a little bit inside. For the uninitiated, there once was a time when any online publication could volume-shoot written content on Facebook — and other social media platforms — free of charge. It was an insanely efficient way to drive traffic, close ad sales, maintain readership, and increase search engine visibility. Bloggers, like the ones at Vaulter, would have been running naked around their office throwing fistfuls of cash at each other. It was incredible. Then, a little over five years ago, Facebook changed its algorithm, effectively shutting the cash firehose off… They adopted a “pay for play” model that made it much more difficult for blogs to share their content on social media. This resulted in a drop in readership, which led to a drop in ad sales, which led to the death of online editorial content. Hundreds of companies went out of business, most others changed to a hybrid ad-based and premium subscription model. Others just resorted to putting everything behind a paywall… It fucking sucked. The company that gave me my first writing job — Grandex Media (TFM & PGP)— was one of the biggest media companies on the planet before suffering the wrath of Zuckerberg. Now, they’re just a stripped-down collection of Instagram accounts and archived blog posts. Sad.

Back to Succession!

Kendall asks Lawrence to assemble the whole Vaulter staff so he can have a word with them. Lawrence tells Ken that they all fucking hate him, Kendall doesn’t care. Lawrence goes inside and assembles the team.

Kendall gazes out over the crowd of beanies, beards, and fake glasses that is the Vaulter content team. He tells them that he believes in what they’ve built, but, he thinks it would be a mistake for them to unionize. They all groan and mutter like a bunch of dirty hipsters. Kendall continues, saying that he wants to save them from his father, but he won’t be able to that if they sign union cards. More groaning and muttering ensues. The vibe in the room is… tense, to say the least.

We depart this happy scene at Vaulter and join Cousin Greg who is busy apartment hunting around New York City. Since Greg is a normal person with a normal salary, he can’t afford to just rent out a giant hotel room like Connor. He scours the city for a $2,500/month shoebox studio like the rest of us. Greg also happens to be a massive human standing at just over 6-foot-5, so, the image of him touring tiny apartments is very funny. One of the agents tells Greg that an apartment as “great storage space.” Greg tries to sit up in the bed and hits his head on the ceiling, which prompts him to say, “Yeah, but, the thing I need storage for the most is… me.”

Cousin Greg gives up apartment hunting for the day and heads over to one of Kendall’s “units” to deliver him drugs. Greg arrives to find the luxurious apartment completely empty, aside from Kendall.

Ken informs his cousin/drug-mule that he doesn’t actually live here. In fact, nobody lives here. He bought five of these upscale apartments with the intention of flipping them, but since they’re so damn expensive, there isn’t really a market for them yet. Greg asks what the square footage is. Kendall doesn’t know. Greg is impressed nonetheless.

As he’s popping a fistful of pills, Ken informs Greg that since nobody’s buying these luxury apartments at the moment, he’s free to stay here until the market moves. Greg assumes that Kendall’s fucking with him. Who would just give away an American Psycho level apartment like this? Kendall tosses him the keys and assures him that he’s very serious. This is Greg’s apartment now.

Greg hugs Kendall and then proceeds to run around the apartment yelling and flailing his gangly limbs like a yuppy baboon.

Kendall then asks Greg if he wants to hang out later… at this apartment... with a bunch of random people.

Soooo Kendall just gave Greg this apartment so he’d have a place to party? Wierd. Doesn’t he own several other empty condos in addition to his own place? Why doesn’t he just party there? Regardless, Greg agrees to host a “Techno Gatsby” party for Kendall and his friends.

Speaking of weird parties, Tom and Shiv arrive at Roman and Tabitha’s place for dinner, and it’s immediately awkward. Roman says that he has the irresistible urge to either “knee somebody in the vagina or spit on the floor.” Tabitha tells their guests that he’s just nervous. Roman insists that there’s no way he could be nervous for “din-din with fire crotch and normcore.” To be clear, “fire crotch” is his sister… which, even for Rome, is super weird. Tabitha pretends she didn’t hear him and invites their guests into the apartment for champagne.

Tom asks if he can have a diet coke instead because has a cold. Tabitha tells him that he should try “swallowing something.” This is a callback to season 1 when Tabitha blew Tom and then spit Tom's own semen back into his mouth which he then proceeded to swallow. Man, small world.

Tom says, “I’m fine. Thank you.”

Roman and Shiv go to fetch some Japanese whiskey to chug while they talk business. Rome informs her that Kendall is, once again, “making moves.”

Specifically, he’s maneuvering to keep Vaulter open after Logan — at Roman’s behest — explicitly ordered Kendall to shutter the business. Roman then calls Kendall a “Shenaniganizing piece of shit,” which is a wonderful turn of phrase.

Rome asks his Shiv whether or not he should tell their dad about Kendall’s attempt to keep Vaulter open. Roman knows that if he rats Kendall out, Kendall will be crushed forever. Shiv, surprisingly, tells Roman that if Kendall’s going rogue, he should just let him because sooner or later it’s going to blow up in his face. This way, Roman doesn’t have to endure the unpleasant process of tattling on his brother. Roman likes this idea.

He then tells Shiv that, “If Dad announces a successor tomorrow, it’s going to be me.” Roman obviously doesn’t know that Logan has already secretly promised it to Shiv… Rome even asks Shiv if he should be worried about Tom as a potential rival for the title of CEO. Shiv assures him that he does not have to worry about Tom. Man, the secrets are starting to pile up.

At dinner, Roman and Shiv both make fun of the way Tom dresses. For no reason other than… you know, it’s Tom.

Tom tells Shiv to fuck off. The whole audience claps for Tom finally defending himself.

When the couple returns to their new apartment, Tom informs Shiv that he’ll be sleeping in the guest room. Shiv clearly feels bad for the way she treats him and offers to talk it out. They discuss her options: 1) take over Waystar or 2) serve as the next president’s Chief of Staff. Tom says that she should keep her options open, Shiv is leaning towards Waystar. It’s unclear whether or not they made up or slept together.

The next day, Kendall goes solo to the Vaulter with his team of assistants to continue the gutting of the company. As his team shuts down their servers, Kendall stands upon an elevated surface and once again addresses the entire Vaulter staff.

“If I could just have everyone’s attention, I want to update you all on a couple of developments. You may have noticed that the servers are down and we’re setting a satellite office on the seventh floor. And I’m afraid I have to inform you, you are all dismissed.”

(the Vaulter employees laugh incredulously)

“Yeah… You’re all fired.”

(Laughter stops, and panic ensues.)

“If you could all leave your laptops where they are and hand in your passes, security will be coming around now. I’ve been through everything you’ve shown me. Food and weed, those are the only two verticals driving revenue so we’re folding them in and, uh, yeah, you’re all free to leave.”

One especially indignant employee (well, former employee) walks up to Kendall and hucks a loogie right in his face. Kendall just stares at him, dead behind the eyes, and asks, “Is that all you got?”

Lawrence Yee then runs up to Kendall as he’s leaving and says, “Kendall what the fuck are you doing!?”

Ken says, “Sorry about the cloak and dagger, I just needed some time to untangle your shit, find the profit centers, keep the union off our back… we’re already operational on seven.”

Lawrence, again, asks him why he would do this. Ken replies, “Because my dad told me to.” Lawrence is outraged, telling Kendall that he’s a coward and he fucked up. Kendall just nods and responds,

“Uh-huh, go find some other chicken coop. Cunt.”

From here, we cut to a shot of Kendall wandering, shit-faced, around Greg’s new apartment later that night at his “party.” Greg runs up to Kendall and asks him what’s going on. Ken tells Greg that it’s all good and that he’s just “looking for love in all the wrong places.” Greg, fully panicking, but in his polite Cousin-Greg sort of way asks Kendall if he could bring this party to his own place. Ken declines.

Greg then lets Kendall know that some of his “acquaintances” are humping in his bedroom. Ken doesn’t care. Too busy bein’ Techno Gatsby, Greg. Figure you’re own shit out.

Back with Shiv, Gil, and the rest of the campaign staff, a random guy on the street runs up to Gil and shakes his hand. Gil tells the guy, “Hey when all this is done, let’s me and you go grab a beer.”

Once their back in the car, Shiv asks Gil if he wants some hand sanitizer for his hand after touching that random guy. Gil says no, and chastises her for being elitist scum and making jokes at the expense of working folk.

Shiv tells Gil that he still has her dad’s cock in his mouth and he’s a damn hypocrite for insulting her wealthy family while taking their money. Gil doesn’t take kindly to this insubordinate behavior. Shiv tells him to fuck off and quits her job on the campaign.

And this is where the episode ends, with Shiv finally getting all the way out of politics and into the family business.

Episode highlights:

• Ken and Rome are named co-COO’s, aka “Beavis and Crackhead”
• Logan orders Kendall to gut Vaulter
• Tom and Shiv’s relationship sucks
• Connor moves into a hotel with his prostitute/playwright girlfriend
• Tom starts his new position at ATN
• Gil promises Shiv the position of Chief of Staff
• Logan gives Shiv a 3-year timeline to CEO
• Ken gives Greg an awesome new apartment
• Shiv and Tom’s relationship continues to suck
• Kendall ruthlessly guts Vaulter
• Greg hosts Kendall’s weird Techno Gatsby party
• Shiv quits her job with Gil’s presidential campaign

Thanks for reading, see you next week with episode 3 “Hunting.”

CP