This is the final part of three posts about my recent process being on the crossroad of life choices.
The first post: Isn’t There A Middle Ground?
The second post: The Triangle of Life
Everyday, we need to make a decision. What to eat, what clothes to wear, what time to take a break, and a lot of other stuffs.
Once in a while, we need to make a big decision, hopefully not in a life or death situation.
One possible example maybe, should I take this job or not?
Few months ago, I learned from the book The Almanack of Naval Ravikant. It’s a curation of Naval’s thought and talks by Eric Jorgenson. The book should be available for free in this website: https://www.navalmanack.com/
However, please be aware of the disclaimer by Eric Jorgenson about this book:
The Navalmanack is built entirely out of transcripts, Tweets, and talks Naval has shared. By definition, everything in this book is taken out of context.
Read and interpret generously. Understand the original intent may be different than your interpretation in a different time, medium, format, and context.
From the book, I try to dig more on the original source on the part about decision making. Naval shared his thoughts on a live Twitter/Periscope session in 2018. He talked about three decision making heuristics/framework. Hopefully, you can find it useful too.
If You Can’t Decide, The Answer Is No
The reason is, modern society is full of options. We live on a planet of seven billion people, and we are connected to everybody on the internet. There are so many choices.
It’s very, very important we only say yes when we are pretty certain. You’re never going to be absolutely certain, but you’re going to be very certain.
If You’re Evenly Split On A Difficult Decision, Take The Path More Painful In The Short Term
If you have two choices to make, and they’re relatively equal choices, take the path more difficult and more painful in the short term. By the definition, if the two are even and one has short-term pain, that path has long-term gain associated. With the law of compound interest, long-term gain is what you want to go toward.
Your brain is overvaluing the side with the short-term happiness and trying to avoid the one with short-term pain.
So you have to cancel the tendency out (it’s a powerful subconscious tendency) by leaning into the pain. As you know, most of the gains in life come from suffering in the short term so you can get paid in the long term.
More Equanimous In The Long Term
Equanimous is a word for a feeling of internally calm and composed. This lesson is from Kapil Gupta.
The choice that will leave you calmer in the long term is the right one.
If you taking a choice and still have a turmoil, eventually you will want to turnaround and reverse that choice.
Moving Forward
Looking back, I do wish I learned about this earlier.
However, I am grateful for the crossroad that I faced. I got another chance to think deeper and calmer. Even though I know the path that I will choose might be more painful. I need to adapt, to learn more, I will be away from the old familiar, I might have less tangible stuff, and probably more. Looks like I choose the more painful path in the short term.
Maybe, this is my chance to be a better person.
It’s funny that the final episode of Ted Lasso’s second season relates to this situation.
The complete sentence that Coach Lasso said:
It is our choices, gentlemen,
that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
I try to see my choice of this crossroad with a perspective of starting a new chapter.
Maybe, on this chapter I can get closer into earning more with my mind rather than my time.
I do hope I don’t mess with the compounding process for the next chapter.
I hope in the long term it’s a well-balanced triangle that I can live with.
How is your process of decision making?
Love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks!
