5 Ways You Might Be Repelling Opportunities
It’s not fun to hear about all the wonderful opportunities people are stumbling upon, especially when we feel like it’s our turn to have some good luck. However, the truth is that these people have taken the initiative to prime their lives for optimal generation of opportunities, and work the odds in their favor.
If you find yourself often wondering where all the once-in-a-lifetime opportunities are hiding, you may be making some mistakes that are actually chasing them away.
1. You Let People Forget About You
A good first impression is not enough.
This isn’t just about making a good first impression — anybody can do that. It’s just simply not enough to have a great conversation with someone and expect anything to come from it. You have to trade contact info, latch on to them, and ensure the connection remains strong. It takes tact and cunning to do this effectively without becoming annoying, but it’s better to be annoying than forgotten.
Always Give Them A Generic Business Card
It doesn’t matter if you work at Wendy’s, or if you’re unemployed — you need to have business cards. If you already have business cards made for your professional gig, consider making separate ones that don’t contain your job title. If people remember you as “John the Accountant” or “Sally the Banker”, they probably won’t come to you with opportunities outside of your field. If people remember you as just “you”, they will imagine your usefulness in many areas.
Always Try To Schedule Another Meet-Up
Whenever possible, make plans to meet with someone again before you part ways. Their fondness of you after you make a great impression will only dwindle with time. You’ll have a greater chance of securing a brunch or coffee date if you go for it right away.
Do Not Wait For Them To Contact You
Follow up after 24–48 hours, and again every week or so. Don’t try to remind them of your conversation or reiterate how awesome you are. They remember you, and what you talked about, so just don’t. Simply express that you enjoyed your conversation and show a genuine interest in them. If they mentioned some project they’re working on, ask how it’s going. Try to get them talking to you, even if it’s brief. If they seem very uninterested after 5 follow-ups, try giving it 30 days before your next attempt.
2. You’re Flying Too Low
There’s a downside to “just doing you”.
You’re a workaholic. You’re hyper-focused. You’re working on yourself. I totally understand laying low to get important stuff done, but it could actually be hurting your future. There are ways you can appear on people’s radar without losing your focus.
Share Your Work Online
If you’ve got some things you’re working on at home, find a way to make them public. People will be reminded that you exist and see that you’re working hard. Reach out to people who show interest in what you’re doing, and build those connections when you can.
Join A Club Or Meet-Up Group
Even if it’s a billiards league or a sci-fi fan club, taking the time once a week/month to make a public appearance will significantly increase your chances of generating opportunities. People often have more to offer than you might think.
Be More Social While Running Errands
This one is gonna suck for a lot of the low-flying types, myself included. But saying “Hello” to people and making brief friendly comments is a habit you need to get into. Being nice to a stranger one time at the grocery store may not yield much results, but when you run into that person again in line at the bank, the horizon widens.
3. You’re Not Pleasant To Interact With
You don’t have to be a jerk to make people avoid you.
Many genuinely nice people are putting others off all the time without even knowing it. This subject alone warrants an entire article (or an entire book) of its own, but simply avoiding these key things in your interactions will greatly improve the public opinion about you. When people are more attracted to you, they are much more likely to invite you to social gatherings, open up to you, or think of you when opportunities arise.
Never Try To Be Right, Especially When You Are
It doesn’t matter how right you are, or how easily you could “prove them wrong”. It is always better to let it go. By proving someone wrong, you embarrass and alienate them. Even if they admit their error, they will resent you for it. If it is critically important that this person realizes their mistake, try to guide them towards the truth so that they discover it on their own. Be graceful or let it go.
Never Talk About Negative Things
Do not, under any circumstances, begin a conversation about anything that might provoke feelings of sadness or frustration. Do not talk about political controversies, natural disasters, or your dead dog. Do not mention how sick your mother is or how much you hate the weather. Allow others to bring these things up if they wish, and gently guide the conversation in a positive and uplifting direction ASAP.
Never Talk About Yourself Until Asked
Even if you really want to tell this person how much you two have in common, or how talented you are with Photoshop, or how educated and refined you are, bite your tongue. If you make the conversation about them long enough, you will eventually get your time to shine when they inevitably start asking about you. Be patient.
4. You Don’t Seem Trustworthy
You could be accidentally sabotaging your credibility.
This is a tricky issue to correct, especially when you actually are pretty trustworthy but are inadvertently giving the wrong impression. Even when you think you are displaying your trustworthiness, you may actually be undermining it.
Never Engage In Gossip
If you talk poorly about someone else behind their back, the person you are talking to will probably assume you’d do the same to them. Sometimes, somebody might ask you how you feel about a certain person that they themselves dislike. You may think you are strengthening your bond by admitting that you also dislike that person, but you are only proving your willingness to make inappropriate statements about someone without their knowledge.
Do What You Say
It really doesn’t matter how trivial the promise is — a promise is your word, and your word must be strong like steel. If you say you will do something, treat it as a contractual obligation. If you think you may not follow through, then do not sabotage your credibility by giving a fraudulent promise.
Be As Consistent As Possible
People tend not to trust what they don’t understand. If you appear too chaotic or unpredictable in your actions, people will not feel that they can count on you. Establish a firm set of principles that will guide your actions, and adhere to them at all times, even if you are having a really bad day. Try not to talk about a new hobby or interest that you’re super excited about until you’re positive it’s going to stick with you. People who frequently bounce from one thing to the next are very hard to trust.
5. You Don’t Bring Value To The Table
Are you sure you can walk the talk?
It’s important to make sure you have the skills to perform when an opportunity comes your way. Even if you’re just mediocre, present yourself in a way that will ensure others’ confidence in you, and figure out a way to meet the demands of the task. Sometimes the hardest thing to admit is that you just need to improve your skills. It’s important to mention that your ability will never even come into question unless everything else is done properly, which is why I’m putting this last. Do not question the value you bring to the table until you’re sure that it’s the real cause.
Find Ways To Demonstrate Your Ability
If you have a portfolio or an example of what you can do, find a way get them looking at it. Do not direct them to it until they seem interested in finding out what you’re capable of. Be as patient as necessary until the right moment presents itself. If your skillset cannot be displayed in a portfolio or through your actions, try your best to demonstrate a quiet confidence when asked about it.
Display Modesty, But Never Self-Doubt
It’s important to not talk yourself up. Be modest when asked about your skills. If you talk about yourself too lavishly or with too much confidence, you will seem to be overcompensating. This will cause people to seriously doubt the truth of your claims. On the other hand, it’s important to not be too modest. Do not appear to doubt your own abilities, or others will surely doubt them to.
Sharpen The Saw
To borrow a motif from Stephen Covey’s classic book, you need to develop the habit of deliberate practice and constant self-improvement. Make it part of your core value system. Even when you think you’re good enough, get better. The worst way to find out you need to improve your skills is when you’re given an opportunity that you just can’t meet the demands of. It’s always a good time to level up.
Resources
If you’re seeking opportunities in a new field and don’t know where to start, my article on self-education might help. Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends And Influence People will revolutionize your social habits and optimize your life for attracting opportunities. The Art of Charm podcast is absolutely brimming with top-notch information on leading an optimal social life.
Call To Action:
On a mission to redesign your life? Crafting your mindset? Let’s touch base in your inbox once a week. Join the Side Effects Readers Club for free, and take one important step towards becoming the best possible version of yourself.
Join Now: www.SideEffectsClub.com
