15 Lessons Learned During My Six Months As A Cancer Patient

Between the hospital gowns, pills and surgeries, you can still find the moments of humor and gratefulness.

Cancer sucks.

I think everyone can agree with that.

My name is Dave. I’m a 27 year old guy who lives and works in the Greater Boston Area. I come from a big Italian family. I like sports, music and movies. I like to think I’m pretty normal.

From left to right: Mark, Laura, Mark and Dave — Exploring Europe

October 22 of 2016, all of that changed.

It was my parents anniversary, and instead of celebrating 35 years together, they wound up receiving a surprising phone call from me.

I had been feeling some soreness for about a week that wouldn’t go away, so I swallowed my pride and went to the hospital. While doctors poked and prodded away at me for a couple of hours, I continued trying to convince myself it was all in my head. After the tests were done, I was left in a room alone for half an hour waiting. It was the longest 30 minutes of my life.

Results from an ultrasound came back showing I had a small tumor. Doctors said it was probably malignant and it would need to be removed. In other words: big trouble ahead.

It’s been six months to the day since my initial diagnosis. I’ve gone through three surgeries, and as many rounds of chemo. My hair is gone, though slowly coming back, and, at times, I’ve become part cyborg. (Not to get sidetracked here, but that cyborg thing is true. They tape this machine onto you so you can get a scheduled booster shot after chemo without having to visit the hospital. It starts beeping randomly, and it really does make you feel like C3PO.)

Anyways…

When you hear the words, “you have cancer,” you expect that some of these things — doctors appointments, surgeries, chemotherapy — will happen through the course of your treatment. What you don’t expect are all the little ways that strangers — the nurses, doctors, insurance representatives — take charge of your life, or the nuggets of wisdom that you pick up from the people you meet along the way.

For me, to say it’s been a learning experience would be an understatement. The past six months have taught me new things about myself and my body, my family, my friends, what I value and what I can truly do without. While having cancer is something I’d like to leave in the past, the perspective, drive and life lessons that it’s given me aren’t.

With that in mind, I’ve been keeping a list of all the ways my life is different than it was this time last year. Below is my list of 15 things cancer taught me:

1. There is a limit to the amount of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit a person can watch in a single day. Your mind goes to some strange places after an eight hour chemo-induced binge session.
2. There is, however, no limit to the amount of Chopped or Shark Tank a person can watch. Bring on the secret ingredients and entrepreneurs.
3. No matter how good your impersonation, Arnold Schwarzenegger “it’s a tumor” jokes do, in fact, get old.
4. For me specifically, the least intimidating thing about cancer was the disease itself. It’s the appointments, and the bills, and the scans, and the tests, and the hopes and the disappointments that wear you down. Naps help though.
5. Pills are dumb. We as a society should move past them. All hail liquid medicine.
6. Jolly Ranchers are an underrated candy. Seriously, think how long one Jolly Rancher lasts versus an entire bag of M&Ms.
7. Hospitals GPS tag their patients. It’s as creepy as it sounds. My father and I had way too much fun with this one day.
8. Hospitals are not the place to go when looking for a restful night sleep. Between the nurses and roommates, the longest string of sleep I got was three hours. Maybe.
9. Surgeons have no sense of humor. Seriously, don’t bother. I’d make a joke and a visible loading screen would appear on their face for a moment before going back to telling me how they’re gonna cut me up.
10. Heartburn is the worst, and drinking an entire gallon of milk while eating an entire bottle of Tums in a night is a terrible idea.
11. Time is arbitrary. It can be slow when you want it to be fast and it can be fast when you want it to be slow. The days you feel good fly by and the days when chemo is winning drag on forever.
12. I should have paid more attention in biology class. I wound up asking every question you could imagine because cancer is, honestly, fascinating. My father and I wound up looking up the chemical composition of the drugs they were giving me. I legitimately went Platinum. Take that Kid Rock!
13. Things like a small conversation with a stranger can have a big impact. I’ll never forget the utility worker at Dana Farber who would talk to me about hockey, or the parking attendants who’d make a joke when I was obviously just done with everything. (Also, thanks to the front desk lady from that day who gave me free Celtics tickets!)
14. Anything can be funny. It’s no secret that this was a hard six months for me and my family. But I’d be lying if I said we didn’t make the best of it. There were a surprising amount of laughs to be had during six hour chemo-sessions or right before being wheeled into an operating room.

15. Lastly, the big thing I took away from this process was a quote my brother reminded me of from one of our favorite shows, Sports Night. “You’ve got friends, and this is what friends gear up for.” You never realize how big your support system is until shit truly hits the fan. I can’t even imagine how I would have handled this without my friends, family, coworkers and Dana Farber handling it right alongside me. One day I’ll figure out how to properly thank everyone. I’m working on it.

So now, six months, five doctors, three surgeries, three rounds of chemo and three hospitals later, I’m left with darker hair, a new collection of hospital socks and an assortment of life lessons and memories I’ll keep with me forever.

Oh, and I’m cancer free. So that’s good, I guess.