The Office Bracket: The Scranton 16
We go from the Round of 32 to the Scranton 16. Who makes the cut?
Welcome to the highly anticipated first round results of the The Office Pool, the most important bracket you’ll see this March.
We’ve been having serious debate here at the Side Streets office, and after many late nights and caffeine-fueled tirades, we are ready to reveal the winners of round one, the Scranton 16. So go ahead, print out your bracket, start an office pool, and debate us vehemently.
PT Cruiser Region
(1) Michael Scott vs. (8) Toby Flenderson
There is no greater rivalry in the Office Universe than Michael and Toby. Truthfully, Toby provides more funny moments than he gets credit for. Michael Scott wins this opening round match up on the strength of two indisputable facts. One, Toby had a few really strange, really uncomfortable advances towards Pam. Two, this gif is in the hall of fame. This round goes to the boss.
Winner: Michael
(2) Darryl Philbin vs. (7) Bob Vance
Bob Vance gets a tip of the cap for being the greatest marketing wizard in the history of refrigeration, but there’s no disputing Darryl here. He is one of the very few characters to legitimately receive a promotion on merit. And he could shred on piano.
Winner: Darryl
(3) Creed Bratton vs. (6) Jo Bennett
Creed Bratton is possibly the most interesting man in the world. How many sitcoms can have an actor come in and say, “you know what? We’re not even going to give you a fictional name. Just be your actual self.” Seriously — read his Wikipedia page.
Creed is a runaway freight train. Kathy Bates is great, but Jo never stood a chance.
Winner: Creed
(4) Kelly Kapoor vs. (5) David Wallace
David Wallace may be in charge of all of Dunder Mifflin, but he’s not the business bitch. It’s no contest.
Winner: Kelly
Pretzel Day Region
(1) Jim Halpert vs. (8) The Senator
You know why Jim wins this one? Because no one remember’s the Senator’s actual name.
Winner: Jim
(2) Stanley Hudson vs. (7) Pete “Plop” Miller
Plop was only around for the final season of the show, but acquitted himself quite nicely. He was brought on board, along with Clark, as a replacement for Kelly in the customer service department. He is also the subject of one of the greatest film synopses of all time.
“After Andy Bernard returns from a wilderness retreat, he named Pete “Plop”, supposedly because Pete is “always taking dumps” (despite having only known Pete for a matter of minutes), much to Pete’s discomfort.”
I see your Plop. And I raise you, arguably, the greatest three minutes in YouTube history.
Winner: Stanley
(3) Oscar Martinez vs. (6) Robert California
One of the show’s greatest qualities is that it’s able to pull some seriously quality guest stars. James Spader as Robert California is the perfect example of this. RC plays the perfect narcissist (and lizard king), but he doesn’t hold a candle to Oscar’s ability to deliver know-it-all, one-liners. Also these dance moves…
Winner: Oscar
(4) Erin Hannon vs. (5) Karen Filippelli
Karen may have been important to the Jim/Pam storyline, but for us romantic diehards, she was just in the way. Erin on the other hand, told Gabe what we were all thinking, and for that, she ends up victorious here.
Winner: Erin
MegaDesk Region
(1) Dwight Shrute vs. (8) Gabe Lewis
Gabe just sucks. He absolutely sucks.
Winner: Dwight
(2) Andy Bernard vs. (7) Nellie Bertram
The Nard Dog has one of the most turbulent arcs in the show’s run. He goes from the annoying barbershop coworker in Stamford to pastel enthusiast to regional manager to boat captain. All while entertaining on again, off again relationships with Angela and Erin.
Nellie was a peculiar character who showed up a bit later in the game. She never quite found her home in Scranton, but had one of the sweeter moments of the series finale.
Andy takes this one because of alumni connections. Have you met Broccoli Rob?
Winner: Andy
(3) Angela Martin vs. (6) Holly Flax
Holly’s like your buddy’s girlfriend that no one really knows how to connect with, but everyone likes enough because your buddy really likes her. We love Holly because Michael loves Holly. Angela on the other hand, takes a while to warm up to, but ultimately gives us so many great moments, that she has to be the winner here.
Winner: Angela
(4) Ryan Howard vs. (5) Cousin Mose
Ryan’s character arc deserves so much credit; from the temp who was the object of Michael’s misplaced affection, to starting the fire, to running away with Kelly in the finale, and everything in between. But let’s be honest, Ryan was detestable for a lot of the show.
On the other hand, you never know when Mose is going to pop up and steal the scene. He was the author of some of the strangest and undeniably funniest moments of the series. Mose wins.
Winner: Cousin Mose
Poor Richard’s Region
(1) Pam Beesly vs. (8) Roy Anderson
A strong first round draw for Pam here. After years enduring a rudderless engagement, she finally gets the most satisfying redemption of all — selection over Roy in an arbitrarily created bracket contest from some blog on the internet.
Winner: Pam
(2) Kevin Malone vs. (7) Clark Green
Kevin is absurdly lovable. Clark, much like Plop, had a few good moments in the final season. But there will be no major upset this round.
Winner: Kevin
(3) Meredith Palmer vs. (6) Todd Packer
Without question, this is the most exciting first round matchup. Meredith and Packer bring the ruckus in every scene they’re in.
Meredith pulls away on the strength of her various Christmas party performances. Specifically, Moroccan Christmas. Pound for pound, Meredith provides some of the best scenes from the entire series.
Winner: Meredith
(4) Phyllis Vance vs. (5) Jan Levinson-Gould
The best Jan moment is from the Dinner Party. Phyllis doesn’t have a best moment, because they’re all gold. Also, girl’s a freak.
Winner: Phyllis
We will have the Ed Truck Eight revealed next week!
