Bonding with my daughter took more time than I expected

If you’ve read Aria’s birth story (from Dani’s perspective), you know that she was born at high speed. The gynaecologist didn’t arrive yet. The midwife was preparing something in our room, apparently unaware of how imminent Aria’s birth was. When she was born, Dani caught her, and not much later, we were both holding her in our hands. I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do. I was looking for confirmation that she was ok.

What happened next is a blur to me. Someone took her. I thought the midwife had taken her to weigh her. I was confused. I knew that the hospital promoted skin to skin right after birth. They prioritized private time between the parents and their newborn over getting all the measurements and taking care of other practicalities right away. So why would they take her away from me? Other doctors and nurses started taking care of me. Time passed, and I didn’t see Dani or Aria anymore.

Due to respiratory problems, I didn’t see Aria for hours after she was born (read the full story here). When I finally saw her, her face was covered with an oxygen mask, and she was full of cables. Once I held her in my arms, I felt so scared. I obviously felt frightened because I was afraid of losing her. But there was another fear. I didn’t feel right. I felt disconnected from her. I had felt so connected to her while she was in…