The Marshmallow Experiment
A couple of decades ago, in the 1960s, a Stanford professor named Walter Mischel started conducting a series of psychological studies. During the course of their experiments, Mischel and his team tested hundreds of children between the ages of 4 and 6 years old. They revealed what is now considered a controversial theory about the key characteristics for success in health, career, and life.
The experiment began by bringing each child into a private room, sitting them down on a chair, and placing a marshmallow on the table in front of them.
The researcher then offered a deal to each child.
They were told that he was going to leave the room and that if the child did not eat the marshmallow while he was gone, then they would be rewarded with a second marshmallow. However, if the child decided to eat the first one before the researcher returned, then they would not get a second marshmallow.
So the choice was simple: one treat right now or two treats later.
The researcher then left the room for 15 minutes. The footage of the children waiting in the room was rather amusing. Some kids jumped up and ate the first marshmallow as soon as the researcher closed the door. Others squirmed in their chairs as they tried to hold themselves back but eventually gave in to the temptation a few minutes later. And finally, a few of the children did manage to wait the entire time the researcher was gone.
The Power of Delayed Gratification
As the years went by, the children grew up and the researchers conducted follow-up studies and tracked each child’s progress in a number of areas. What they found was rather surprising.
The children who were willing to delay gratification and waited to receive the second marshmallow ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, better social skills as reported by their parents, and generally better scores in a range of other life measures.
The researchers followed each child for over 40 years and over and over again, the group who waited patiently for the second marshmallow were successful in whatever capacity they were measuring. In other words, this series of experiments proved that the ability to delay gratification was critical for success in life.
Now, if we try applying that to our daily lives and try to see it play out in other circumstances, we can see different outcomes.
If you delay the gratification of finishing your workout early and put in a few more reps, then you’ll be stronger.
If you delay the gratification of watching TV and get your work done first, then you’ll learn more and get better grades.
If you delay the gratification of buying food outside, then you’ll eat healthier when you get home.
… and countless other examples.
Success usually boils down to choosing the pain of discipline over the ease of distraction. It is the difference between “what I want right now” vs. “what I want most”. And that’s exactly what delayed gratification is all about.
Now this raises an interesting question — Did some of the children naturally have more self-control and hence were destined for success or is there a way to develop this seemingly important trait?
What Determines Your Ability to Delay Gratification?
Some researchers at the University of Rochester decided to replicate the marshmallow experiment, but with a slight twist.
Before offering the child the marshmallow, the researchers split the children into two groups.
The first group was exposed to a series of unreliable experiences. For example, the researcher gave the child a small box of crayons and promised to bring a bigger one, but never did. Then the researcher gave the child a small sticker and promised to bring a better selection of stickers, but never did.
Meanwhile, the second group had very reliable experiences. They were promised better crayons and got them. They were told about the better stickers and then they received them.
You can assume the role these experiences had in how the children reacted during the marshmallow test. The children in the unreliable group didn’t wait very long to eat the first one as they had no reason to trust that the researchers would bring a second marshmallow.
Meanwhile, the children in the second group were training their brains to see delayed gratification as a positive thing. Every time the researcher made a promise and then delivered on it, the child’s brain registered two things:
1) Waiting for gratification is worth it and
2) I have the capability to wait.
As a result, the second group waited for an average of four times longer than the first group.
So, in other words, the child’s ability to delay gratification and show self-control was not a predetermined trait but rather was impacted by the experiences and environment that surrounded them so far. The effects of the environment were almost instantaneous. Just a few minutes of reliable or unreliable experiences were enough to affect each child's actions and sway their decisions.
What can we learn from all of this?
Before moving on, let’s get one thing straight. The good news is that your fate cannot be determined solely by a test of your ability at age 5 to resist the temptation of one marshmallow for 15 minutes to get two marshmallows.
These studies are just one piece of data, a small insight into the path to success. Human behavior is a lot more complex than that, so let’s not pretend that one choice four-year-old makes will determine the rest of his or her life. The idea that your child is doomed if they choose not to wait for their marshmallows is a serious misinterpretation.
A 2018 study on a large, representative sample of preschoolers sought to replicate the statistically significant correlations between early-age delay times and later-age life outcomes, like SAT scores. The replication study found only weak statistically significant correlations, which disappeared after controlling for socioeconomic factors.
However, the 2018 study did find statistically significant differences between early-age delay times and later-age life outcomes between children from high-socioeconomic status families and children from low-socioeconomic status families, implying that socioeconomic factors play a more significant role than early-age self-control in important life outcomes.
The studies above do make one thing clear. If you want to succeed at something, at some point you will need to find the ability to be disciplined and take action instead of becoming distracted and doing what’s easy. Success in nearly every field requires you to ignore doing something easier (delaying gratification) in favor of doing something harder (doing the work and putting in the effort).
The modern world, with its 24-hour news cycles and instant communication, is not particularly patient. It would most certainly fail the marshmallow test if it were to take it. But the key takeaway here is that even if you don’t feel like you’re good at delaying gratification now, you can train yourself to become better simply by making a few small improvements. In the case of the children in the study, this meant being exposed to a reliable environment where the researcher promised something and then delivered it.
You and I can do the same thing. We can train our ability to delay gratification. And you can do it in the same way as the child and the researcher: by promising something small and then delivering. Over and over again until your brain realizes that,
1) Yes, it’s worth it to wait and
2) Yes, I have the capability to do this
You can begin by starting incredibly small. Improve one thing, by one percent. And do it again tomorrow.
