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Clarity only tragedy could manifest

I sat across the table from my play auntie ( A close and dear family friend, so she’s family), explaining how my values and understanding of my life just solidified after my stroke. I found it easier to mute the noise and filter out the essential things in my life.

“Sometimes a dramatic event has to happen for some of us to finally find that clarity she noted.

Clarity.

Even though I can’t walk gracefully or fully use my left hand and arm, I am mentally more sound than I’ve ever been.

“We all have our “assignment” She states. It was a quote from a psychologist that resonated with her.

“I truly and wholeheartedly didn’t want to be here.” I confessed.

An understanding and empathetic expression unfolded across her face.

“You were tired of fighting.” she stated. She didn’t ask. She stated. There was no gasp. No shock.

Many of us have to be destroyed in order to re-create ourselves—a phoenix. Well, I aim to be that phoenix rising from the ashes. I would say that I needed to be reintroduced to myself. I hadn’t forgotten myself, but I definitely let her stand-in drive for years. A more accurate account would be that I was on auto-pilot. I thought I was moving toward my goal, towards my purpose. I think many of us confuse movement with direction. Before this event, I was definitely moving, but I wasn’t going anywhere special. I was recklessly determined and focused on external…

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Signed Out: How my two strokes signed me out of my painstakingly planned medical education
Signed Out: How my two strokes signed me out of my painstakingly planned medical education

Published in Signed Out: How my two strokes signed me out of my painstakingly planned medical education

I had two strokes during medical school. Let’s talk about one and what I learned about life along the way.

AW
AW

Written by AW

I'm a 4th year medical student recovering from two strokes. I'm here navigating my new life & life in general. come follow me! join me! It'll be an adventure!

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