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BREAKING NEWS: White People Discover Racism Just in Time for MLK Day

And they’re already mobilizing to tell people of color what to do about it.

Thank blonde haired, blue eyed, baby Jesus.

I mean, they had a really tough time seeing what was going on with that severe outbreak of color-blindness that broke out amongst middle class white communities in the 1990’s, but now they are #WOKE and ready to direct any and all people of color around in the name of equality.

Which is fantastic, because that’s just what we need. More white messiahs using their privilege to shove out actual leaders from communities of color in the name of equality. POC leaders have just been getting too much attention.

And really, isn’t it racist to say white people can’t lead communities of color? Anyone with “good intentions” can do it.

Seriously, get ready to look under your chairs white folks. Are you white with the need for a paycheck? Here’s a community of color! Are you middle class and needing to feel good about your own white privilege? Here’s a community of color for you, too. Are you a mildly educated white person that has read Doctor Martin Luther King, Junior’s biography and now you know exactly how to win the war against white supremacy? Where the fuck have you been? Here, you’re going to need a few POC communities to direct. In fact, you are their new King.

Which is great. Because our communities are unlike any others. White communities represent themselves. They make up 90% of the Senate and 80% of Congress as a whole. Communities of color, though, just aren’t ready for that kind of thing.

People of color really need white people to tell them what to do and when to do it and how to respond to attacks on their communities. It’s just common sense. So thankfully, we have white people in Congress that are starting to understand that racism exists, and they will immediately be able to draw on the intelligence inherent in their white skin to automatically know how to legislatively counter racism without political expertise or prior practical work in the field. They will be out in force in main stream and social media outlets demanding to be heard and completely unaware of how that force completely undermines the work of actual leaders from communities of color.

Just as Doctor Martin Luther King, Junior dreamed.

But despite what people may or may not think of white voice in colored spaces, you just can’t deny the results. White folks have done a bang up job stopping the nationwide deportation efforts of hundreds of thousands of black and brown people. They totally killed it when tribal agreements were being violated at Standing Rock. That whole Muslim Ban thing, that’s gone right? Protection from police violence is at an all time high. All those Civil Rights Trump and the GOP have been trying to repeal are totally intact. There is nothing but diversity in all three branches of government. There are literally zero efforts to place states rights above federal rights. Nazis and white nationalists aren’t in key policy positions anymore, and there isn’t a tiki torch carrying Klan Rally anywhere to be found.

All of this majesty without understanding the political and legal dynamics of institutionalized racism.

Oh, wait. That’s not true. They completely fucked up all of those battles with shame tweets and phone calls and refusal to implement strategies that don’t involve tiny violins on the Senate Room Floor. But damn, now that they know what racism is, I bet they know exactly what to do! They always do! Just give the white people another chance.

I mean, look at voting rights. One of areas of battle that Doctor King was most active in and dedicated too. White people have totally nailed it there. Sure, there are individuals and organizations of color that have worked for generations to advance King’s work. They have tirelessly worked towards and called for the enforcement of the Voting Rights Act. They have focused on re-enfranchisement efforts and ending voter suppression efforts that keep an upwards of 50 million people from the polls every election cycle.

Experts of color know the tricks being used to block these efforts, the strategies that work against those attempts and represent the people most directly affected by race based attacks on voting rights. So, it would be beyond stupid to listen to them! Really, the whole idea is just ridiculous.

As much as people want to believe that legal, political, and strategic expertise is needed to confront white supremacy — they are wrong. All it takes is white skin, a glimmer in your eye, and a call to Congress. People of color have been doing it wrong this whole time. But thankfully, white folks have woken up and are ready to lead the way.

OK, sure maybe Martin Luther King, Junior wanted black people to be able to vote. But that was back when people of color were only 15% of the population.

Times have changed.

Now POC’s make up close to 40% and the number of minority-majority cities and states have increased exponentially. So clearly giving people of color the right to vote back would be a HUGE mistake.

And white people know that.

That’s why they dance around gerrymandering and registration efforts and really any other strategy that will challenge suppression without actually re-enfranchising one black or brown person. Well, unless it’s restoring a purged voter roll here and there.

That’s because white people know that if people of color are allowed to vote, they’d probably vote for people that look like them. And they’d especially vote for people that come from their communities and promote political agendas that are more aligned with them than the white middle class.

And — as every white person is born knowing because of the magic of white skin — if the US had communities of color representing themselves and their own agendas, the world would literally collapse. Armageddon. Apocalypse. Series finale of Friends. End of pumpkin spice season. All wrapped up in one.

Keeping people of color out of positions of power is the work of white hairy cloud God and Norwegian Jesus. It’s for their own good. So, allowing people of color to represent themselves as a voting population, in the media and especially in Congress would divide the country. We need racism to unite it and POCs just don’t get it yet.

So divisive.

And don’t forget, if we let people of color divide the nation — Bannon wins.

People of color just can’t understand that. But white people can. And now that white people are woke to racism, they will know exactly what to do about it. As they have for generations. And if you think I’m wrong, look around. Look at all this equality that comes from denying people of color voice, vote and representation. Look at it in all it’s glory. Look at all of the progress and peace and prosperity you see before you.

And don’t forget to tweet a quote for #MLKDay thanking all of those white people shutting out all of our POC leadership in the name of equality, solidarity, and resistance. You can thank all of them for what you see around you today.

To learn more about Dr. GS Potter and the Strategic Institute for Intersectional Policy (SIIP), visit:




Mission: to design and implement strategies that counter the political obstacles faced by the most brutally targeted communities in the United States.

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SIIP is dedicated to designing strategies to counter political obstacles faced by the most brutally targeted communities in the United States

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