2017: The Games You Should Look Forward To, Part II

After the Konami incident, Kojima just likes being held again

All the gaming sites are publishing articles about their most anticipated games of 2017, so in an attempt to appear relevant, Silent Protagonist is doing exactly the same thing — there’s no point in being trend setters if readers aren’t aware of the trends, after all. And continuing the trend to chase double the page views, double the reads and double the recommendations, this list is merely part two, after we conned you into reading the first part yesterday.

As the authority on all things gaming, our list includes all the upcoming games that we are looking forward to, and you should too. If there’s a game that you’re looking forward to and it happens to be missing from the list, it is a deliberate exclusion, not an oversight. So, please don’t blame us; blame the developers for building a shit game that is going to suck so much that we’re not including it in the list.

Prey

Xbox One, PS4, PC

Possibly the first AAA game about pink eye

Remember Prey, on the original Xbox with its aliens mixed with Native American mythology, its spirits walks, and wonderful combat? Wouldn’t you love to see that rebooted? You’re in luck, with the minor proviso that the reimagined Prey has removed everything you loved about the game the first time. Awesome!

Crackdown

Xbox One

Look at those clouds...such power

The super-cop returns, causing collateral damage and bringing the city to its knees while hunting down street gangs who just want to defend themselves from your authoritarian regime. The game has been delayed to be a proper reflection of Donald Trump’s America, but will finally see release in 2017, ready for its four years of relevance.

Injustice 2

Xbox One, PS4

Someone please mention your mother's name so you guys can kiss and make up

Totalitarian Superman is back, ready to kill whoever stands in his way. If you’ve enjoyed the films within DC Extended Universe, check out the sequel to the game that inspired the films! Crush your enemies while explaining to your children how these superheroes are a beacon of light.

Sea of Thieves

Xbox One, PC

Damn boat ruining the view of the sea

The game with more sea men than any other 2017 release outside of Mass Effect: Andromeda has players assuming the role of pirates and getting seasick over the seven seas. Join your friends and share a barrel of rum, and then, if you feel like it, play the game.

Spider-Man

PS4

You know this game is going to be action-packed, because: motion blur

Because Spider-Man always works so well when exclusive to Sony, they have tapped Insomniac for the latest game! Expect a moderate success followed by a less moderately successful sequel, before they reboot the franchise after handing creative control to Microsoft.

Agents of Mayhem

Xbox One, PS4, PC

"Nobody will recognise me with my sunglasses off."

The geniuses behind the Saints Row series are back, baby. Swapping out gangstas for superheroes, players pick three characters at a time from a total of twelve, to wreak havoc and presumably save the world. With twelve times the characters, expect twelve times the balls hitting twelve times the walls.

The Last of Us Part 2

PS4

Ellie sings "The Rainbow Connection"

Where The Last of Us told a story about survival in a post-outbreak world, part two shows that even the greatest standalone stories need sequels. Following the events of the original, Ellie has long suspected the truth about Joel’s deepest, darkest secret. Play in shock and awe as Joel’s secret leads them to search for a cure for his crippling addiction to clown porn.

Death Stranding

PS4

Guillermo del Toro waits for his latest project to get cancelled

Fresh from his breakup with Konami, Hideo Kojima is back with his rebound, Death Stranding. Featuring Guillermo del Toro and Mads Mikkelson, it has to be awesome, right? Even if we don’t know anything about the game, we just need to get excited by its pedigree.

Red Dead Redemption 2

Xbox One, PS4, PC

GTA in the wild west

We know even less about Read Dead Redemption 2 than we do about Death Stranding. It’s not GTA, but nobody cares, because we’ve all bought every single Rockstar game outside of the criminally underrated Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis.

Knack 2

PS4

"I have a knack for appearing in bad games."

I’ve tried to think of something witty to say about Knack 2, but the fact that Knack is getting a sequel is funnier than anything I could ever come up with.

Marvel vs Capcom: Infinite

Xbox, PS4, PC

Mega Man and Ryu find love

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is all about Infinity Gems! The Avengers will fight in The Infinity War! Capcom is releasing a new Marvel vs Capcom game, but to capitalise as much as they can, they need the word “infinite!” Expect infinite characters, infinite combos, infinite paid DLC, and an infinitely good time!

And now you know which 2017 games are not going to suck. You’re welcome.