Atari Gearing up to Release the Most Powerful Retro Console Ever

Atari was a huge influence on how we grew up.

In a move direct from Xbox’s playbook, gaming industry founders Atari are preparing to unleash the most powerful retro console ever built.

Atari, mostly known for their epic parties and inventing table tennis have teased their intention to release a console that harnesses the full power of a high end PC in order to play games like ET the Extraterrestrial.

I can’t wait to play that Indiana Jones game, Pitfall!

Steven Spielberg

After the success eBay had with the NES Classic it only makes sense that the other big owner of our collective childhood would attempt to squeeze money from those memories.

But to do so with a console that reportedly will run those games natively in 8k and contain several flops inside it’s beautiful, wood inducing shell was a surprise.

Silent Protagonist went straight to the source of those power rumours, the internet, where we met Head of Atari Marketing and Top Dawg I.C. Wiener. Between insults about our mother he confirmed that Atari’s new console will be the powered by a custom I9 chip paired with a 1070 graphics card.

We’re going to bring to market the best way to play your 30 year old games.
A prototype Ataribox controller. It looks like they're stealing more than just the retro idea from Nintendo.

This aligns perfectly with Atari’s AtariBox press release.

Money is no object to perfection. Our true fans will spend whatever it takes to play the best version of Breakout on the most powerful console ever.

We assume that they mean the version with the naked ladies behind the bricks, which was our favourite version to play, at least when our families had gone to bed.

While Atari themselves are currently referring to the console as the AtariBox we hear that this is only a code name. The actual console will be inspired by Atari’s past, and could end up being called the Black Panther.

Ex-Atari Head and famed cheese collector Nolan Bushnell, wished his old company a smashing success on Twitter, adding that drugs cost a lot more now, compared to when he ran Atari.

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