Get Your McMario Now!

“Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Kooper Kingdom?”

In news that makes us at Silent Protagonist sad that we’re stuck in Australia, those visiting McDonald’s in the US are now being asked “You want Mario with that?” Naturally, there is only one acceptable answer: “Hells yes!”

For adults concerned about clogging​ up their arteries while chowing​ down on saturated fat and clogging up their toilets after chowing down on saturated fat, take heed: Both Nintendo and McDonald’s have your back, packaging Super Mario toys with Happy Meals. Smaller meals equals less congestion.

Mario has loved a good burger ever since those pixelated days of yore

But let’s all face facts: As awesome as little Mario toys are, they are made for young, impressionable children. Children who are at just the right age to struggle with the differences between sometimes food and always food, but once they see it marketed with an overweight plumber will nod in recognition, knowing that this is most definitely always food. Congratulations to both McDonald’s and Nintendo for this important initiative!

Most importantly, McDonald’s and Nintendo are working together to break barriers and present Mario in a positive light. Yes, he’s promoting a key part of the US’s obesity epidemic, but by promoting burgers, fries and nuggets in lieu of pizza, gaming’s favourite stereotypical Italian plumber is finally managing to break free of one Italian stereotype.

Hey kids! Mario says you should eat as much McDonald's as possible!

The progressive Happy Meals come with a variety of Mario characters, each promising their own special ability and more nutritional value than the food they’re packaged with. You can get them from stores until 22 May, and eBay long after that.