Justice League Sue NetherRealm
Justice League spokesman Batman claims the developer’s new game fundamentally misrepresents the JLA.
Earlier this month NetherRealm Studios released a story trailer for their hotly anticipated sequel, Injustice 2. As befits a fighting game, the story trailer was heavy on fighting and light on actual story.
But not everyone of the million plus eyes that watched the trailer appreciated what they saw. Today the Justice League announced their intention to take NetherRealm to court for defamation.
We sat down with a representative of the JLA, Batman, to discuss why they felt it was necessary to protect their, um, identity.
Silent Protagonist: Welcome Mr Man.
Batman: I’m Batman.
Silent Protagonist: Yes. Well welcome Batman. If we can get straight into it?
Batman: You can.
Silent Protagonist: Well, why do you feel you needed to take such drastic action against NetherRealm?
Batman: NetherRealm have licensed our images for three games now, and each one has portrayed us as increasingly unhinged psychopaths.
Silent Protagonist: This is the studio famous for Mortal Kombat.
Batman: Right. It is cute what they did with combat. Changing the C to a K like that. We thought they could make a game like Juicetice League, where we make OJ for orphans.
Silent Protagonist: But that’s obviously not the case.
Batman: No. And we need to stop this before it goes any further. Have you seen the trailer? I hit a Robin! I’ve never been filmed hitting a Robin! I wouldn’t do that.
Silent Protagonist: How about this image (shows Batman the famous meme)?
Batman: That? That’s just a love tap. (Batman gently chucks this interviewer’s chin). Way to go kiddo, you remind me of my dead dad.
Silent Protagonist: Okay. Still, the last Injustice was hugely popular, how can that hurt the JLA’s image?
Batman: Remember, we are not just beloved by middle age internet fanboys hungry for their heroes to grow up with them. We are popular with the kids as well. And what parent is going to let their kid buy a Superman doll when all the images of Superman are him ripping out the hearts of his enemies? Do you think parents won’t notice what is going on in their child’s video games?
Silent Protagonist: Historically they have constantly failed to notice.
Batman: If Robin played Injustice I’d slap him so hard. Can we edit that out?
Silent Protagonist: Sure. But why does that matter. I thought your entire deal was to strike fear into criminals, so they’d be nonminals?
Batman: But Justice League stands for something greater than fear, greater than hatred. We get into fights because we love the world.
Silent Protagonist: You could still save the world even if the world hated you. In fact, that’s one of the premises of the recent Zack Snyder films.
Batman (laughing jovially): What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something? Everyone, the Goddamned Batman included, knows that handing the reigns to Snyder was a mistake. But until we get those Superman/Wonder Woman photos back from him, he’s going to keep making his weird little films.
At this point a JLA PR executive interrupted.
JLA PR: We would just like to reiterate that the JLA are fully committed to a DC film universe.
Batman: Yeah, so whatever the fuck that means. To get back to the point, we need kids to look up to us, to buy our stuff. It takes a lot of money to save the world. We have a space station, and it won’t maintain itself.
Silent Protagonist: But you’re a billionaire. You’ve licensed out your life story to multiple films, games and comic books, so we all know you’re Bruce Wayne.
Batman: Or maybe that’s a cunning deception, designed to throw you all off the trail?
Silent Protagonist: You arrived in a Wayne Enterprises helicopter.
Batman: Or did I?
Silent Protagonist: You did. I’m fairly certain you are Bruce Wayne.
Batman: Or am I?
Silent Protagonist: Yes, you are.
Batman: This interview is over.
Next week we will take a look at the other way this interview could have played out, had we chosen to conduct it entirely as Bruce Wayne. Telltale’s Batman, Season 2: Season of the Bat (or the Bruce, it’s up to you!) is out this summer.
