Nintendo Announces 2DS XL

This XL finally lost his virginity upon getting his hands on a Switch

We live in a world where we like our gadgets small, jam packed full of technological goodness that makes the user think that the device must have been made with Time Lord technology. Naturally, Nintendo’s first instinct was to cancel the NES Classic, which not only miniaturised the Nintendo Entertainment System, but built in an additional 30 games.

We also live in a world where companies cram the latest and greatest technology into their devices, creating toys so futuristic that the user thinks that the device must have been made with Time Lord technology. Naturally, Nintendo’s other first instinct was to double down on the Nintendo Switch, offering last generation’s technology.

Nintendo’s love affair with removing small systems and embracing old technology has reached glorious new heights, resulting in their latest first instinct: An extra large version of their 3DS downgrade, the Nintendo 2DS XL. Nintendo promises the 2DS XL will fill the hole between the 2DS and 3DS XL, continuing their tradition of filling holes they started with the Switch. The Switch, however, will either fill your hole, or let you fill it’s hole, results in success for the corporation.

The clamshell design adds comfort when using the 2DS XL to fill your hole

Nintendo also promises that the 2DS XL will feature screens “as large” as the 3DS XL. Silent Protagonist undertook the research that Nintendo couldn’t, and can confirm that these dimensions are 4.88 inches on the top, and 4.18 on the bottom. As this new console matches the 3DS XL in every way other than being 3D, Nintendo will market it with the following tagline:

It’s a 3DS XL!*
* 3D not included.

The Nintendo 2DS XL will retail for $200 in Australia and New Zealand, where it is inexplicably seeing a release on 15 June, roughly six weeks before the US on 28 July for $150. If you can’t afford your very own Switch, you might at least be able to use the Nintendo 2DS XL to fill your hole.