We Watched the Destiny 2 Trailer So You Don’t Have To
The full Destiny 2 trailer hit today, and because people are excited by the game, any article we write on the subject amasses page views. And because Destiny 2 amasses page views, we are continuing to report on it. If you’re a big enough fan to have preordered the collector’s edition, you’ve already seen the trailer and don’t need to keep reading. If you’re a moderate fan and only preordered the limited edition, you may have seen the trailer and may want to read something else. But if you’re no fan at all and have only preordered the standard edition, this trailer breakdown is for you.
The trailer opens with the obligatory epic shot, featuring a giant ball known as the Traveller. The Traveller is basically Space Jesus, who apparently sacrificed itself for the Guardians' sins.
Next, we see a rousing speech from a blue bald dude who was featured in the original game.
Because speeches are cool, we get another speech. It’s a little less rousing, but it comes from Nathan Fillion, so the trailer just increased by 1000% on Silent Protagonist’s Awesometer.
Old enemies return! Sure, you killed swaths of them in the first Destiny, but by returning, they’re going to instill fear in your heart.
More returning enemies! They’re the same type of bad guy as in the shot above, but it looks like a new class, to really scare you.
But nothing is as scary as an alien puppy.
If you’re concerned about losing all your Destiny 1 loot, fear not: Bungie thinks it’s pretty fucking funny.
Star Wars trailers always include spaceships, and we know how much money those movies make. So…spaceships!
Meet Gary. Or someone whose name has a 'G' in it. You know it’s an epic sequel because of the big, bad, big bad.
Sometimes Gary just isn’t enough to sell the stakes. If you really need to hammer the threat home, get some extras to look around the place worriedly.
And when worried extras aren’t enough to give you the feels, throw a kid — who will probably need protecting from Gary and his minions — in amongst the commotion.
Good things happen in this trailer too. Nathan Fillion manages to finally rouse his audience. Hooray!
If you still feel the need to watch the trailer, you may as well do it while you’re here.
But why would you when the trailer’s teaser is 100% Nathan Fillion?
Destiny 2 releases on 9 September 2017. If for some reason you haven’t preordered the game in the last 16 or so hours, do it now because you obviously won’t be able to get hold of it otherwise. Ever.
