Film Review — Morbius
A deeply tedious superhero spinoff I deeply don’t care about
Morbius is a film I struggle to summon the will to review. I didn’t hate the film. Nor did I like it in any way. Yet I can barely summon the energy to relay my apathy. It features Jared Leto operating at the opposite end of his ludicrously over-the-top whining schtick as seen in House of Gucci, ie without a flicker of dramatic fire. It’s almost as though he saw the scathing reviews of his performance in Ridley Scott’s film and went into a sulk. (Fine. If that’s how you feel, I won’t act at all.)
The plot? Oh, some waffle about a scientist trying to cure himself of a rare blood disease, who inadvertently turns himself into a vampire after one playing-God experiment too many. Said scientist is Dr Michael Morbius (Leto), who isn’t the only one with this condition. His childhood friend Milo (former Doctor Who Matt Smith) also suffers from this affliction and is keen to share Morbius’s “cure” regardless of the consequences.
Somewhere in this setup are a couple of other characters I deeply didn’t care about, including Martine Bancroft’s indifferent love interest, Dr Adria Arjona, and another doctor, played by Jared Harris (the better Jared in the cast). Unmemorable plot complications ensue involving police and some silly mid-credits extra scenes that just add…
