How to Put People at Ease
The art of conversation is creating the conditions for people to reveal themselves
Twenty-one months ago, my family and I moved to a small town in coastal Spain from a small town at the base of the Pyrenees mountains. My wife and I were worried about uprooting our kids and whether they’d quickly adapt and make new friends. We were worried if, in our mid-forties, we would do the same.
Every ounce of this unease immediately washed away the moment we dropped our kids off for their first day of school. A woman stopped my wife and me as we were about to make our way home. “You’re new here, right?” she asked with an easy smile. “I was in your shoes a few years ago. If you want to get together this weekend, let me know as my family and I would love to show you around.”
It was such a simple gesture. But it meant the world. It’s funny how often the people who know what it feels like to be an outsider make the effort to help others feel like an insider.
The person standing in the corner at an event.
The new hire in the office.
Your new neighbor.
It’s amazing how something as simple as a smile and a hello can make people breathe easier.
