Twenty Nine
Turning 29 was an amalgamation of a lot of complex and contradictory emotions. So, did what I always do — resorted to my journal to make sense of them, and well, here I am.
29 as an age is tricky,
Just one more year left till you near the horrifying 30.
Can you imagine that at this age your parents had at least one baby?
They housed multiple responsibilities and renounced their dreams to provide for the family.
So it also hits you differently maybe?
You’re constantly reminded that your biological clock is ticking,
Even though your folks perceive you as a grown-up, you’re clueless about how you’re adulting.
29 is utterly bewildering,
You’re still learning how to manage your finances and not splurge on clothes, gadgets, or jewelry.
Heck, in your head, you’re still twenty!
You don’t even know what to cook for dinner, you still wake up at 10 or sometimes forget how to get out of bed.
And at weddings, running into your prying relatives is what you most dread.
You’re spoilt for choices in love, career, and side projects,
You often catch yourself wondering, “Is this it?” Or “When is it the right time to switch?”
You carry a lengthy bucket list that you’re forever itching to finish.
It’s 2024 and it’s astonishing as hell,
If you dwell on it, for the first time in the history of this country,
We have the time to identify and chase what we want sexually or just casually experiment.
We possess the ability to make our own decisions financially and not be externally dependent.
But what do you do when you’re left with so much legroom but no playbook?
How do you leave a legacy for posterity? Your brain is full of dubiety.
29 is a milestone a tad overwhelming,
“Look at the successful women your age — Alia Bhatt or Prajakta Koli”, my mind instructs me.
You’re nowhere close to where you thought you would be.
While your friends are purchasing houses and cars with their partners, taking one vacation after another,
You’re choosing to garner only rich experiences,
You’re taking the road less traveled to go after your whacky dreams,
Trying your best to be a role model for your sisters and nieces.
Hey kid, your biggest win was learning how to love yourself,
You cured yourself out of that raging anxiety and the long list of insecurities.
And if that doesn’t count, you’re just glad you forgave yourself and your dad.
After all, you understand it now — what it is like to toil and pay bills in this world, big and bad.
29 can be a demanding number,
As you keep receiving wedding invitations from cousins, school friends, college friends, friends of friends,
You’re not at all keen to marry, just as a “fuck you” to the institution of patriarchy.
So, you sit and plot on how to not succumb to your parents’ plea.
So, If this society puts pressure on you to pursue a different plan, don’t surrender.
You do you — whether that’s becoming a pilot, a nurse, a housewife, or an actor.
By 29, life has thrown enough curveballs and you still move around carrying scars.
You’ve crammed the life lessons from all heartbreaks,
You’re well-trained to pick up your shattered pieces, move on, and heal from pain,
You don’t care about what people think about you anymore,
Your tolerance level for bullshit drastically mitigates.
This phase of your life, it’s bittersweet,
You’ve lost touch with a majority of your childhood friends,
But the few treasured ones you have, they’re a real treat.
You’re determined to move up the ladder in your career,
But leaving behind your old and frail parents makes you shed tears.
No matter how far you go, you make an effort to stay connected to your roots.
You sure miss your childhood abode but you now have a beautiful roof and a brand-new home,
You dot on your partner’s company but are not scared of being on your own.
Even though 29 is a delicate age, it is just a number they say,
The 30s is the new 20s these days,
There are countless problems, issues, and things not going your way,
But they shall all pass, it will be okay.
Even though it might look like the opposite from the outside, no one has it figured out anyway.
So, if not Forbes 30u30, there’s still hope for Padma Shri,
There’s room for all the crazies you fancy,
This reality is full of uncertainty, you still strongly believe.
For a life full of lots of fun and adventure, remember to choose love over fear.
No matter how scary the first 30 years were, you can make the next 30 lovely,
Go live with grace and fervor ’cause you’re just getting started, baby!!
