10 TIPS FOR SINGLE PARENTS TO PREVENT TEEN SUICIDE
When your teen is going through the blues, life is no longer black or white. The life pressure of being a teenager is real. Most times they won’t open up and tell you what is bothering them, sadness and worries seem to be a dark cloud looming over their young life.
As a single parent you have a feeling there is something wrong, so you attempt to question your teen just to have an emotional and physical door shut on you.
You know your teen is growing up and others reassure you that what you are experiencing is ‘normal teen behaviour.’
As a parent you know this is not normal for your teen to:
- Lose interest in the things that make them happy
- Not care about how they look anymore
- Suddenly gain or lose weight
- Suddenly have personality changes.
- Use substance be it alcohol, cigarettes or drugs.
- Give the things they loved away
- Be ‘accident prone’ more than usual and or self-harm.
If these are the things you are concerned about, then your concern is normal. Your attempt to reach out is normal, your frustration of not getting the help you need for your teen is normal.
You will see reports and statistics in the media and on the Internet that may alarm you as a single parent. The big one being that children raised in single parent homes are at risk of committing suicide.
Recently in the news, Western Australia has had sad incidences of teen suicide that has affected our community. Even Australia’s Prime Minister has been involved and this has prompted an urgent need for extra mental health services for teens. Though according to The State of Western Australia’s Children and Young People Edition two publication of 2014, there were 2,013 Non-Aboriginal & 159 Aboriginal teens between the ages of 13 to 17 that were hospitalized due to intentional self-harm. This same report mentioned how the mental health service was “collapsing” and there were only 20 mental health beds available for adolescent patients. What is most scary from that report was that research showed, “…that the vast majority of young people who self harm do not present for hospital treatment at all…”
You and your family do not have to be a part of the statistics.
From one single parent to another these are the 10 most important things someone could have told me that would have saved me 5 years of heartache, helplessness, worries and challenges.
1. Make Parenting Your Goal — You are your teens parent for life, no matter what happens, not matter how your teen behaves. You will not give up on your teen. You will be there with them every step of the way, even if the system gets involved. Refuse to remove yourself.
2. Use Positive Words Only — No matter how your teen behaviours, you will only use positive words to them. If you can’t find something nice to say, then always say “I Love You.”
3. Support For You — Support for you is so important. Someone you can unpack all your frustration to. Keep all your concerns in life right away from your teen. Your stuff away from your teen, is one less pressure for your teen.
4. Be Present — Every time you are in front of your teen you make yourself available. Never be busy in front of them. This physically allows your teen the permission to talk if they want.
5. No Talking When Your Teen Talks — Even when they stop, unless they actually ask you a question, keep your answer simple. Keep a neutral face, a look of disapproval will close the conversation.
6. Unpack Your Teens Worry Bag — Be helpful to your teen by unpacking all the things that are worrying them. Write a list, set a clear plan for yourself to take the weight off them and let them know what they don’t have to worry about anymore. You got some of their stuff sorted.
7. Pick Your Fights Carefully — Before you open your mouth, think. Is this really going to be that important in 10 years time for me to even mention now?
8. You Are Not A Doctor, So Don’t Diagnose — And that includes everyone else around you. People so loosely use the words Depression & ADHD. The last thing your teen needs is a diagnosis that is wrong.
9. Nature Is the Greatest Healer — Nature does wonders for the soul. A day at the beach, out in nature to just wonder and get lost. To not be surrounded by all the things that reminds them of all their worries. Observe the difference in your teen. It’s about creating gaps to breathe and moments to create new memories in between the hard time your teen is going through.
10. You Are Right — Whatever answer comes to you, go with that and act on it. If one door to community services close for you, open another door. Never give up on getting help for your teen.
More support for single parents are needed and ways of helping you with your teens rather than saying, they’re being teenagers. In the meantime use these 10 tips, don’t let suicide be an option for your teenager.
Reach out for help today, make the phone calls to community services and make a way to be with your teen every step of the way. You are an amazingly brave parent, together you and your teen can beat and manage the blues.
Daphne Marsters
The Single Parenting Expert & Author @ www.parenting101thebook.com
Where to get help in Australia
· Lifeline 13 11 14 (24-hour/7days a week)
· Kids Help Line 1800 55 1800 (24-hour/7days a week)
· Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 (24-hour/7days a week)
· Beyond Blue 1300 659 467 (Suicide Call Back Service)
· Your community health centre
· A doctor (not necessarily the family doctor)
Reference: The State of Western Australia’s Children and Young People — Edition Two.
