20-something(Part two)

PART 1(Magic)

There is something fascinating about the idea of star-crossed lovers. Take Romeo and Juliet for instance, these two people loved each other so much that they decided they couldn’t live without each other. Today such a relationship would be considered toxic, but in those days, it was considered blissful. I think that in my life I might have had an experience with my star-crossed lover. Star-crossed lovers are in love with each other. Sadly, despite their love, their story is destined to end in tragedy. My story of meeting my lover from the stars began when I was twenty-three. During that time, I was a completely different person. I partied way harder than I do now (although some might say I still party hard) and I partied at a place called Grand Central.

Grand Central was the last real gay nightclub at the time. Grand Central was also like every gay club that you see in movies. There were drag queens, wild dancing, and random people doing drugs. I had many good times at Grand Central but one night changed my life. (And yes, it starts because I met a man.) One night while waiting for a friend of mine I sat outside drinking a Natty Boh. The night was chilly but for some reason, however, I decided to wear my cute black shorts with a tiger design on them. As I sipped my beer while waiting outside, I heard a voice that didn’t sound familiar to me.

“Can I sit here?” the voice said. As I looked up, it was as if I was looking into the eyes of an angel. The man before me was gorgeous! He had two tattoos on his arm, he was very thin and firm. His skin was hazel brown, and his hair looked to be extremely soft.

“Y-yes you can,” I said not taking my eyes off him. As I looked at him, I noticed he was smoking a black and mild.

“You know those things will kill you,” I said. I looked at him with a half-smirk and he smiled

“Maybe so, but not right now I’m too young for that,” he said. He took a puff of his black and mild and put it out in the ashtray next to us.

“How old are you?” I asked inquisitively

“I just turned twenty-two. How old are you”

“I’m twenty-three,” I said before taking a sip of my beer.

“Oh, you’re old,” he said chuckling.

“Oh please,” I said rolling my eyes and chuckling. “Well, my name is Jordan. What’s your name?”

“Everybody calls me M,” he said extending his hand. I shook his hand and noticed the tattoo on his chest while his shirt moved up and down when he shook my hand.

“I would say nice meeting you, but we have met before,” he said

“Have we?” I asked.

“Yeah, about a week ago we met here with your friends, but I don’t blame you for not remembering we were both pretty drunk,” he said.

“Oh yeah, I was having a really good time with my friends last week. I hope I wasn’t annoying when you met me” I said trying to hide the fact that I was blushing.

“Oh, no you weren’t annoying. You were cute” he said

I blushed unable to find the right words to say. Before I could say anything, he said “It’s chilly out here. Do you want to go back inside?”

“Sure,” I said following him back inside. We walked up the steps and sat down inside the bar. We continued to chat for a little while. As I looked over, I noticed that we sat across from a couple making out. I looked over at M and I saw that he noticed it as well. He looked at them without breaking his gaze and said “Wow…they are going at it”

I glanced at the couple, and M was right it was a sight to see.

“Have you ever been like that with anyone?’ He asked

I thought about that for a second. Before this situation, I had been with a few other men romantically. Two of which I loved, or at least thought I loved. I stopped thinking and decided to answer with” Yeah, a few times. Have you?”

He looked at me and smirked” Yeah, I have”

“Well. tell me about it,” I said.

“Well…I was in a relationship for the last two years with someone who was a little bit older” he said

“How did it end?” I asked.

“Well, he died recently,” he said shockingly.

This really surprised me. I was shocked that someone who was younger than me could be dealing with such a great loss.

“I’m sorry that you have to go through that pain…” I spoke.

“It happens,” he said before calling the bartender over for a drink.

We were quiet for a second. I believe that we were both thinking about what to say. I looked up and noticed that the couple was gone.

“I guess they went home and had a good night together,” he said laughing softly

“I guess so,” I said laughing with him.

“You know if you ever wanted to…You and I could be happy together like them”

My heart fluttered as he said the words. I’ve never been good in situations like this. In the past when guys have flirted with me, I mistook it for joking. One time a guy told me that he would take me home and keep me warm at night. Despite all my friends telling me that he was serious, I still thought it was a joke. However, with M, I knew he was serious. To me, something about him was different and something about our situation felt different.

Finally, after about a minute of blushing and being shocked I was able to say “I’d like that”

We hung out that entire night and it was magical. I think that my relationship with was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, even if it was one of the shortest. Maybe that just speaks to naive I am, or maybe I am right and there was something more to it. I don’t know the answer, but I can say that sometimes I lay in bed wondering what went wrong. Why this never worked out, and even more importantly why did he ghost me?

About a week later I went over to M’s house. His home wasn’t traditional in any sense. It was some type of group home or recovery home. I was shocked to find out that M was in that home because he was suffering from addiction issues. That didn’t matter to me, I would have stood beside him through anything. Even though I had met him only a week prior, I felt like I was in love with him. Maybe, in some way, that shows how crazy I am. It could also show how easily I fall in love. Either way, I guess it doesn’t paint me in the best light.

“I guess my place isn’t that attractive,” He said

“Are you kidding me? I love it” I said as we both began laughing.

“I would love being in any place with you. I don’t care what it looks like” I said.

I looked around. M really did make the best of his room, even if the space he lived in wasn’t the best. I looked over at the wall and noticed a piece of art that caught my attention.

“Did you draw that?” I asked

“Yeah…I sort of draw sometimes” M grabbed a brown folder and handed it to me. In the folder was different artwork that he drew. I was amazed, by all the different artwork that I saw. A lot of it was of supernatural things like demons and angels, but some of it was art that covered the different aspects of nature. All of his art whether supernatural or natural was a sight to see.

“You really have some talent,” I said

He looked at me and smiled trying not to blush. “I have the perfect way to say thank you,” he said. He walked over to me slowly and grabbed the folder from me putting it down on his nearby table He kissed me slowly, and I felt magic surging through my body like lightning.

PART 2(STAR-CROSSED)

In some ways, I know why this relationship could never work now. I mean we were completely different people at the time but I was willing to overlook that. Some of the differences are things like M never graduated high school, while I was in college. M told me that he dealt with severe anger issues(Which I had never seen) M had a nice singing voice, my voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Oh, and I guess I’m overlooking the big issue M was in a recovery home and actively doing cocaine. I know that if you are currently reading this you are judging me and rolling your eyes. You may be thinking about not finishing this because I am such a “20-something idiot”. You might even be wondering how I even let myself get involved with someone like that.

The truth is I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder about it myself. I can only tell you this(and it may not even mean much considering I am a “20-something”) love is very strange and it can happen to anyone with anyone. I’m not sure how I fell in love with him, in fact, I wasn’t looking to do that, but I did. Despite the poor way that it ended, and despite the fact that It was so short, I don’t regret it. My friend Evette tells me that it ended because our lives were different and that I would have never been able to move on with my life and have a great job if I was stuck in that situation. maybe she’s right. But I will not apologize for being in love with someone, even if they had many, many flaws. What did Selena Gomez say? I believe it was something like “The heart wants what it wants”(This is the ONLY Selena Gomez reference you will ever get from me)

One day I decided to go over to M’s and check on him since I hadn’t heard from him in about a day. I went over to the group home and showed the nice lady downstairs my ID so I could enter. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I walked up the steps. When I got to his room I noticed two things. One a piece of artwork that he had on his door was gone, and two his door was cracked open. I pushed the door open and looked around and to my horror, I noticed all of his stuff was gone. I asked around and everyone told me that they hadn’t seen him. I waited around for him a bit that night and he never showed up. For a while, I went to Grand Central and looked for him, and I never saw him.

I thought I would never see him again but surprisingly I did, years later. I went to my current favorite bar, “Harrys” and sat outside with my friend Jay. I sipped my signature whiskey sour when I heard a familiar voice.

“Remember me?” he said.

I was shocked. I had so many questions, and he looked completely different. All I could say out of my mouth out was “I do”

He hugged me and I watched him walk away. I couldn’t ask him any of the questions that I wanted to ask him at the time because I didn’t expect to see him ever again. Since then, I haven’t seen him. I wonder about him all the time, and I wonder if I’ll ever see him again. Honestly, I don’t think I will. I think that this was destined to end in tragedy. But I will always remember how he made me feel, and I just hope that one day I can experience that with someone again.