Friends with Benefits
One of the most popular things today in the world of sex is sex with no strings attached. Often many people think that can be easier and perhaps safer with a close friend. In my experience with friends with benefits, it always ends when one person falls in love or when one friend gets into a relationship. I decided to go to Instagram to get feedback on this topic because I am unsure if something like this can truly work. To my surprise, 88% of people polled said that they believed that friends with benefits could work. Only 13% of people said no. These results made me look within myself. Was my view on sex and intimacy dated? I’m not sure. I mean in my experience with my first and only friend with benefits Trayvon, it ended because he decided that he wanted to get to know me more. I’m not quite sure if that meant that we could have been in a relationship at some point, but we ended up being platonic friends.
A good friend of mine Jasmine, messaged me with her opinion on this issue. Jasmine told me that she thinks that friends with benefits can work and in her experience, the reason for that is that she kept those friends separate from her regular friends. I find that interesting because if you have to keep them separate from your other friends are they your friends? I mean maybe we have separate friends for separate things and maybe for some people sex is one of those things. In my mind, sex is supposed to be spiritual, important, and intimate. However, I’ve been wrong before. Maybe sex is just some sort of transaction between two people.
Maybe friends with benefits show us the way that sex can be a transaction. Also, I think I need to be honest with myself, not all the sex that I’ve had has been important or intimate and maybe it’s ok for some people to not view it as such. I personally don’t think I can ever view sex as a transaction but it is an interesting thought, and I think that’s just how many people see it. I decided to ask Kyasia, a friend, and high school classmate for her opinion. Kyasia is one of the most emotionally intelligent people that I know. Kyasia told me that she believes that when it comes to friends with benefits both people have to make sure that’s something that they want. She also told me that she believes that both people need to be emotionally mature and sure of themselves. I believe that’s true. Whenever you are having sex with a partner, whether it’s a friend or someone you are interested in romantically, you should make sure that is something that you want. You should also be mature enough to have conversations about sex with your partner, two consenting adults should be able to explore and talk about their likes and dislikes. Having these conversations with your partner of choice is important and it is nothing to be ashamed of. If your partner tells you that you can’t talk about these things with them, then you should find another one.
I asked another close friend what makes successful friends with benefits situation. She told me that it can’t be successful because it is only temporary. That makes me think. Maybe it’s only successful when everyone is happy, but how long can someone stay happy in a situation like this? Is my friend right, is this only temporary, or can it somehow last forever? It seems like this topic leaves more questions than answers. The truth is that when it comes to something like this, there is no right and wrong answer. It is up to the people in the situation to decide. That’s the truth when it comes to any situation that involves sex. If you decide to get into a situation like this with a friend you should look at all the details that surround the situation and you should listen to Kyasia’s advice. Be emotionally strong, and just know that this is likely temporary.
