Straight Vs Gay.
Since the 1960s or so, there has always been a war between gay and straight people. Oftentimes, that war has been rooted in homophobia. But sometimes I wonder if both groups are envious of each other when it comes to dating. Sometimes straight women think that gay men are trying to steal men from them. I decided to ask my friend Kyasia why some straight women think that way. Kyasia said the reason for that is because everyone, whether straight or gay, is dealing with the desire to be loved, and that straight people really don't understand or appreciate gay people. I think that Kyasia is right. We all want to be loved and orientation doesn't have anything to do with that. However, I do believe that gay people deal with a lot of things when it comes to finding love. For instance, in the black gay community, there is something called "downlow" or "DL". If someone is downlow, they hide their sexual orientation and have sex with or date other men secretly. A lot of straight women might say that gay men are doing that to hurt them or give them diseases. All of that is nonsense.
The real reason for the rise in DL culture has to do with fear. People are afraid of being who they are, so they do it secretly. Even today, when the world is much more open to gay people than it was in the 1960s, Downlow men still exist, and that has something to do with the homophobic nature of our society. I decided to go to Instagram to do a poll on the issue. 88% of people told me they think that we all have it hard. To my surprise, only 13% of people said that gay people have it hard. One of the people polled was my friend Jay. Jay knows a little bit more about relationships and dating than I do and when I asked him about who has it harder he said “Gay, straight, or bi. I think it’s a challenge for all of us to find a special someone to love” Jay’s comment made me think of something.
Sometimes, when I’m feeling lonely or bored, I decide to go on dating apps and just see if I meet anyone special. I never do, but I always recognize one peculiar fact. For years, it’s always been the same people on these apps. I have never been on the straight side of dating apps, but I wonder if that’s something that straight people also notice when they get on dating apps. I mean, in someway, maybe you could even argue that the existence of these very apps shows how lonely we all are. I decided to ask one of my friends, Will, what he thinks. Will is, like me, a black gay man, and he’s also twenty-something. When asked his opinion on the topic, Will said “I know that straight people definitely have it hard when it comes to dating, but nobody has it harder than us. A lot of gay relationships end in six months. Also, black gay people don’t have a lot of role models to look up to on TV. This makes it so much harder for us to have successful relationships.”
Will is right. As black gay people, we don’t have many role models. There also hasn’t been a lot of successful black gay media. I mean I can think of maybe two shows that were on television with an all-black gay cast. That is something straight people will never have to deal with. They will always be represented more than us, which makes it easier for their relationships in the long run because they have people that they can look up to.
When it comes to the issue of gay and straight romance, I believe we all have it hard in some ways. In today’s modern age, it is hard for people to agree on one thing long enough to make a relationship work. When people get angry today, they want to walk out of your life instead of working it out. It is so much easier to walk away, then work on issues that could be fixed with time. People are only really looking for instant gratification, and don’t realize that relationships do have a little bit of pain and sad moments. Love is not easy. I think that is something that both gay and straight people can relate to. However, I also agree with my friend Will. Gay people suffer from a lack of representation that makes it hard to imagine what a successful gay relationship could look like. We also still deal with massive homophobia and discrimination, and while it is not the 1960s anymore and we won’t be arrested for who we are like we would then, we still have a long way to go. So while we all have it hard, I think that gay people struggle just a little bit more.
