Mexican Music Is Dogshit

Yes, I know, it’s very naughty and anti-New-Age-Sensitive-Man to ever criticize any aspect of any culture other than the “dominant” one.

I know.

And Female Genital Mutilation needs to be seen through the context of tribal cultures that blah blah.

Where the fuck was I going with this? Oh, right. I’m criticizing an aspect of Mexican popular culture and therefore I’m a horrible man. But I’m nowhere near as horrible as Mexican “music.”

They have the temerity to call it music. Those evil fatherfuckers.

Banda gave my ears cancer. Ska literally (not figuratively) violated me and cut my throat.

Those are two psychotically popular musical genres in Mexico. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? Why?

Latin America has given us so much good music. Salsa, tango, cumbia, son, bolero, trio, trova, mariachi. Why does everyone insist on listening to music that is several times worse than Avril Lavigne?

Yes, it’s true Latin America was tortured and castrated for centuries by an evil empire (Spain), but that evil empire gave them flamenco, which is a genre of music created from the fusion of musical styles popular when their empire was dominated by a different empire (the Moors).

Why are some responses to imperialism (flamenco and blues) so fucking delicious while others (banda) are so godawful?

N E X T → The Fall of Tenochtitlan: Part One

P R E V I O U S → Meet Mexico’s Creepy Jesus