Lessons From a Nomadic Student

I’ve been away from ‘home’ for over a year now and this year has been very special to me for both my personal and professional growth. By the time I get back to Canada, I would have visited over 20 countries, lived in Europe for 8 months, in Asia for 8 months, worked in both a start-up and a large corporation, and experienced countless memories. I would say this is a pretty special opportunity and a defining experience in my life growing up. Now I want to share some of the most important lessons I’ve learned being away from home and on the move.

1) It’s OK To Be Lost

I wrote a previous blog about this specific topic but it’s so relevant that I want to re-emphasize it. In this year, I’ve been lost so many times (both literally when I can’t find a place and metaphorically when I wasn’t sure where I was heading in life). I remember walking around in Vietnam and being bugged by those tourist-bike people asking “miss, where are you going?” I simply said “I’m walking.” I had no particular destination in mind and just wanted to see what’s around me. That’s the same attitude I’m taking towards life.

I’m only 21 now and I don’t have this one dream, one life goal, nor one purpose. Everyone keeps encouraging me to “live your dream” and “dreams become true” but what is my dream? I haven’t found my purpose yet and I still have so many years to do so. What’s the fun in the rest of my life if I can only go in ‘the direction of my dream?’ I’m young and I want to explore. I can go wherever I want (literally pack up a suitcase and go), and do whatever I want. I’m fortunate enough that I have the chance to still explore the possibilities of the world.

Just become I’m wandering doesn’t mean I’m lost.

2) Embrace Unfamiliarity to Gain Perspective

I remember whenever I travel, I keep saying “oh this reminds me of xxx” or “this looks like xxx” where xxx is something I’m familiar with. I keep trying to find a sense of familiarity to seek the comfort it brings among a sea of unfamiliarity. While it’s true that familiarity brings comfort and comfort brings safety, the fun of traveling and being abroad is the unfamiliarity. Once I became comfortable of being in an unfamiliar setting, that’s when the fun and adventure begins. That’s when curiosity and learning comes in — and that’s when I grow.

I’m traveling abroad to open up my mind and gain perspective, and I think this factor has had the biggest impact on my growth and maturity. It’s learning about other perspectives, and willing to accept differences that has made me a better person. No, I don’t agree with everything I see and learn, but at least I understand it, and am learning to accept it. This fact alone has helped me see things in different light and appreciate differences.

We are united by our differences.

3) Work Hard to Keep in Touch

I’ve met some incredible people along the way during the year — everyone from those I had a few minute conversation in a social gathering with to people I spend my waking hours with. And when we say our goodbyes, we always leave with the line “keep in touch.” But how many times do we actually keep in touch? And does one occasional FB post or Skype conversation count as keeping in touch? To me, keeping in touch doesn’t necessary mean talking every day because we all have our busy lives, but it means being able to talk whenever we want and staying updated in each other’s lives.

I’m a specialist at keeping in touch because I’ve moved so often when I was young and my best friends are people I have rarely seen in person for over 7 years. Coincidentally, I just met up with my grade 1 friends in China (I was only in China for grade 1) and realized the 3 of us are graduating university this year and we still somehow managed to keep in touch. I mean it when I leave and say ‘keep in touch’ and work hard to do so. And yes it takes work and effort to actually keep this promise. Especially in this crazy year of change, keeping in touch with old friends brings in a warm blanket of familiarity and comfort that is sometimes much needed.

Friendship is not measured by the amount of time we’ve friends; it’s the amount of time we make for our friends

4) Make Friends and Talk to Strangers

The other side of keeping in touch is making new friends. I especially felt the importance of this in KL where my best friends are the people I see every waking hour at work and outside of work. Having these friends around me kept my life fulfilled and I felt so much more independent and happy because of them. I appreciated how great it was to spend so much time with people I like (also thanks to our 80 hour work weeks), and the sense of belonging to this community was something I truly valued. It was one of the main reasons I was so happy in KL.

But making friends abroad is not just about the people you live, study, and work with. While traveling, I got to meet a lot of new people and while none might be what I call a good friend, but they were the people that accompanied me on my travels. Yes, we may just be Facebook friends and never speak again, but meeting them and being able to talk to them made the trip better. Making friends has to be an easy process and I learned to talk to strangers, strike up conversations, and listen to other people’s stories while sharing my own. I also witnessed the positive outcome of listening rather than talking because everyone has a story to tell. This simplicity of this relationship is precious.

Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

5) Being Alone is Not Lame

While meeting people and being with people is great, this year, I’ve had a lot of alone time. I think Gen Y is brought up to think being alone is lame and are labeled as “the loner.” That kid at the cafeteria eating by himself, or the girl who doesn’t have a prom date. Well, I loved being alone this year. One of my favourite trips is Vietnam where I made the trip completely alone with nothing more than a backpack and plane tickets.

I think learning to accept that being lonely is OK and healthy once in a while is a way of growing up. It shows that I don’t need to consistently be with people and that I can rely on myself. It gives me time to reflect and to think — both of which young people don’t do enough of these days due to our busy lives. I’m alone not because I’m lame and don’t have friends but because I actually enjoying being alone. The balance between being alone and belonging with a community/being with friends is something I learned to strive this year.

Being alone doesn’t make me a loner.

That’s it for now. I have a huge list of life lessons I’ve learned this year and hope to continue to share them on my blog. Thanks for reading!

Originally published at susieshier.wordpress.com on October 10, 2013.