Nothing but Hunger
The lure of happiness
Nothing but hunger is left in me.
Hunger to breathe in the present
After I spent years disassociating from it.
The lure of self-discovery lulls me to the most peaceful sleep
After my brain hid the worst of family,
Knowing my heart always raced too fast to survive the painful thoughts.
All I ever did was remain strong.
And it never left space to be happy.
To withstand the family storm,
I masked my face with deadly calm.
The suffocating silence was enough to drown out my soul’s screams to be heard.
“Listen to my silence and you will know how I am.” was all I wanted to say.
Yet I never dared to take up that space.
I shrank to save myself from the onslaught
Of sharp words, that were never mine to carry.
It’s the lure of happiness that keeps me awake at night.
I dream of smiling before I sleep.
I imagine loving arms holding me throughout the night.
I pray for a home that has no
echoes of…
