Don’t Touch! Exploring The Grey Spaces Between Familiarity and Sexual Assault
Written by Leke Kalejaiye
The O2 arena incidence led to a wave of controversy across the country. This controversy involved a video circulating on social media which showed the popular Nigerian musician Wizkid attempting to lift his fellow musician Tems during a performance, placing his hand under her buttocks. This attempt by Wizkid was met with resistance by Tems, who pulled his hands away and appeared uncomfortable thereafter.
To some individuals, this was a clear case of sexual harassment or sexual assault. Other individuals, on the other hand, found nothing wrong with his actions. Some argued that her response to the controversy was merely an attempt to save him from embarrassment, while others made fun of the situation, a clear indication of the regard Nigerians give to allegations of sexual harassment.
Given the recent climate, it is increasingly important to determine whether there is indeed a line between familiarity and sexual assault. When does being uncomfortable equate to sexual assault? What are the boundaries that must be respected when one is being familiar and when are such boundaries crossed?
In determining all these questions, it is essential to understand what Sexual Assault means. Sexual assault is any type of abuse one does not agree to. It includes inappropriate touching, rape, vagina or, anal penetration, child molestation and sexual harassment such as catcalling. Sexual assault could be visual, verbal, or anything that forces one to join in an unwanted sexual contact or attention.
The focus of this article is limited to inappropriate touching, which is a common form of sexual assault which is often overlooked or disregarded as constituting sexual assault. Inappropriate touching is a touch that is sexual in (unwarranted advances), unwanted and unsolicited touching, including but not limited to when someone attempts to forcefully hold your hand or hug you without your consent.
The issue of inappropriate touching is alarming. Most people especially women have often found themselves being groped in public places (markets, religious centers, buses, workplaces, schools, etc.) or touched uncomfortably. In Nigeria, it has become “accepted causal harassment” an act that is seen as normal therefore there should be no issue, fuss, or complaint about it. When a complaint is made, the victims are subjected to name-calling and snide remarks, among other derogatory responses. Those on the receiving end of inappropriate touching often feel powerless, voiceless, or too embarrassed to push back and object.
The attitude of inappropriate touching stems from the place of seeing women as sex objects that can be fondled and living beings that do not deserve respect. There needs to be a mental shift and change in the attitude of society at large regarding the bodies of women. “ You have no right to touch” unless consent is given. There are expected boundaries that need and deserve to be respected.
The first step in combatting the dilemma of inappropriate touching is to speak up. This is because speaking up creates awareness to the perpetrator that you do not condone the act. Speaking up does not always have to be verbally and can also be done through conduct such as pushing the individual away, calling the attention of others, or even resorting to the use of safety tools such as tasers and pepper sprays. The laws across countries should also be developed to protect victims of sexual assault by creating mechanisms and safe spaces where these victims can speak up and justice can be served. Workplaces should also join in creating an environment where women feel safe by creating confidential channels for reporting incidents of sexual assault or harassment and developing appropriate means of reprimanding the perpetrators of these heinous acts.
The public also has a role in combating inappropriate touching by a change in attitude through campaigns, teaching these topics in school, speaking up and helping in a distressed situation, education, and re-education.
Reverting to the incident at the O2 Arena, I believe it was indeed an instance of inappropriate touching (because it was a touch in a sexual manner, placing his hands under her buttocks or even trying to lift her without her consent). By moving away, she communicated her displeasure and discomfort at the manner in which she was touched, therefore creating awareness of her boundaries to the perpetrator.
What are your thoughts on this? Please share your opinions.
Leke is an undergraduate at the University of Lagos. She is a movie enthusiast with a passion for writing to change the world. Connect with Leke on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Medium.
Edited by Blessing Temitope Oguntuase
Blessing Temitope Oguntuase is a law graduate who obtained her Bachelor of Laws (LLB) and Master of Laws in International Air, Space, and Telecommunications Law from the University of Pretoria. Temitope enjoys writing and engaging in research. She is passionate about exploring the intersection between disruptive technologies and the Law. Connect with Temitope on LinkedIn and Instagram.
Published by Akinsipe Temitope
Temitope is a young storyteller who thinks all stories are worth telling. She loves to inspire people to do what they love and follow their passions, tell their stories, and live in the present moment. Connect with Temitope on Instagram, and Twitter.
More from Sisterly HQ
