Fat Shaming: From A “Slim” Girl’s Perspective
Written by Okorodudu Ope Catherine
Right now, you’re probably thinking, “Why would a slim girl have an opinion on fat shaming???” But hear me out, I promise I’m just here to make common sense. I doubt anyone can confidently deny not being aware of fat shaming as a societal vice. Fat shaming in very simple terms is shaming someone for being our perception of fat, overweight, obese and unhealthy. It is important to point out that this is strictly based on personal perception.
This is what it is:
“I think you’re fat and overweight, because you look that way to me, so you have to be unhealthy as well. Now I shall proceed to constantly inform or remind you while giving very helpful pointers to ensure you regulate your weight to what I perceive as normal”. How sensible does that actually sound?
As a woman who has never really been seen as overweight and especially not experienced any type of shaming based on my weight, I can say that for an embarrassingly long time I was definitely ignorant to how terrible and rampant fat shaming truly is. But the fact is that this has become a norm in society as we see people behave in a certain manner or say the most atrocious things to people who they deem as fat or unhealthy. Sadly, for a lot of people this is seen as normal, but it definitely isn’t normal, nor is it okay.
Recently, while I was out with a friend, we met a new guy through other friends, and he was honestly really interesting. I noticed while we interacted with him though, that he was a bit weird towards my friend, like he’d literally ignore her after paying attention to her for a while. But, I thought I was just being overly sensitive and imagining things and any weird behaviour from him was just him being eccentric and straightforward. I saw him as one of these “I say it how it is” sort of guys.
Fast forward to a few months later, he’s done more weird stuff and neither of us really talks to him anymore. On this day we are talking about another weird occurrence that happened and I say about him (almost defensively, now that I think back to that moment), “He’s just one of those straightforward people who say whatever is on their minds and go straight to the point” and she’s just like, “I guess”. We talk about the first time we met him and I bring up how I thought his behaviour towards her was very weird and she just says “Yeah, it’s because I’m fat” and I’m completely thrown off, I almost scream at her, “You’re not fat!”, and she says “Yeah, when people first see me, that’s what they think”. She says all this with a straight face, like this is normal, like it’s reality and it takes a second but then I realize that for her, it is reality.
This interaction made me so sad because I just kept thinking to myself, why would anyone treat me differently because I look “fat”? For a long time, I’ve lived in a world where that wasn’t my reality because I’ve never been considered fat or overweight. This definitely came as a shock to me and I found myself wishing I’d spoken up and said something when I’d noticed that he was weird to her because looking back now, it felt like he purposefully singled her out. I felt like I let her down. And she just took everything in stride like it was totally normal; what’s more, she never said anything about it. And I think that’s what hurts the most, because I imagine how she must have felt in that moment. I don’t even know what I’d have done if the roles were reversed. I just wish I’d stood up for her and put him in his place.
The thing is, fat shaming doesn’t directly affect me but as long as it affects anyone around me or my loved ones, I personally feel like it’s my duty to say something; if possible, do something as well as watch myself, my words and my actions to make sure I’m not the person shaming someone else.
So, my advice to my fellow ladies would be that, the next time you see someone in an obvious, or maybe even subtle situation where they are being shamed for their body or weight, do your best to defend (if possible) or rather than aggravate such a situation, act as comfort to that person. Also, try as much as possible not to be that person who is shaming others, by constantly checking yourself and being aware of your actions as well as words. Finally, there is no sense in shaming someone for their body, their eating habits or the way they look simply because it does not fit your narrative. Rather, if you mean well and actually want to help said person, simply give your advice calmly and respectfully.
Don’t shame someone for something they probably have absolutely no control over. Thank you.
Okorodudu Ope is a final year student of the University of Lagos as well as a content creator. She is enthusiastic about writing and loves to share her thoughts on her many interests. Connect with Ope on Instagram, Twitter and YouTube.
Edited by Praise Udemba
Praise is a recent graduate who is constantly looking to try out new things. She enjoys learning about design, writing, and anything relating to the MCU. Connect with Praise on Instagram.
Published by Akinsipe Temitope
Temitope is a young storyteller who thinks all stories are worth telling. She loves to inspire people to do what they love and follow their passions, tell their stories, and live in the present moment. Connect with Temitope on Instagram, and Twitter.
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