How to Make It in Your 20s: A 5-Step Guide
Written by Boma Praise George
If you’re reading this and you’re between the ages of 20–29, I have a question for you. How did you feel when you turned 20? Excited? Sad? Anxious? Confused? Well, I felt all of the above.
Turning 20 is a big deal because it means you’re getting closer to adulthood and the “liberty” that comes with it. But, at the same time, in a year or two, you’ll be independent and be expected to get a job and provide for yourself. People have several expectations of you, but you, on the other hand, might have no idea what you’re doing.
You might not like the course you studied in the university and now, you have no idea whether you want to be a lawyer or a fashion designer. You struggle with so many emotions and to top it all off, you see people who are in their 20s and “making it”. It can be a frustrating period; however, it doesn’t have to be.
Your 20s can be a fulfilling, exciting and enlightening period in your life if you use it right. In this article, you’ll learn how to make it in your 20s with 5 simple steps. The information you’ll receive here will change the trajectory of your 20s and your entire life, for the better. Let’s dive in.
Step 1: Stop trying to “make it”.
That’s right. In your 20s, your primary focus should not be on “making it”. Your 20s are a time to prepare for the years ahead. They’re a time to grow, adapt, learn, unlearn and relearn vital lessons and skills, such as relationship building, money management, time management, and many others that will form the foundation of your life.
You can definitely make it in your 20s but, you should not be so focused on that that you lose sight of what’s actually important. What if you “make it” and become incredibly successful at 21 or 25 but then lose everything at 40 or 50 because you did not learn how to manage wealth in your 20s? Or because you did not learn how to sustain meaningful relationships? Or worse, because you discover that the version of you who “made it” is not the real you, and so you spend the rest of your life stuck as someone you don’t like or recognize? These are real possibilities that could manifest when you’re older if you “make it” the wrong way in your 20s. You might be wondering, “What’s the right way to make it in my 20s?” The answers are in the subsequent steps.
Step 2: Create Working Systems And Good Habits
Your 20s are a time for you to lay a solid foundation for the years ahead. Very important parts of that foundation are habits and systems.
A habit is something that you create by doing it repeatedly over time until it becomes a part of you. There are good habits and bad habits. As a 20-something-year-old, what you need to do is, sit down and have a conversation with yourself.
Ask yourself the following questions:
“What kind of life would I like to have in 10, 20, 30 years? What kind of habits do I need to attain the life I desire?”
“What kind of woman would I like to be? What kind of habits would such a woman have?”
When you’ve answered these questions, either by yourself or with the help of a wise and trusted advisor, make a physical list of the habits that you need to develop, and those you need to drop. Do you need to improve your time management skills? Do you need to learn how to speak up for yourself? Do you need to start setting aside 10% of your income every month? Whatever the habits are, make a conscious decision to develop the good ones and drop the bad.
Your 20s are the best phase to learn these habits because you have the time and opportunity to fail, make mistakes, and get up again. Your 30s or 40s might not give you the liberty to do that. If you successfully develop the right habits in your 20s, you’ll find it easier to navigate the latter years of your life and create the kind of life you desire for yourself.
Next, you need to create systems. A system is a pattern that you can repeat over and over again to achieve a specific result.
I’ll give you an example of a system: When you have a deadline to meet, you write it out two deadlines- the actual deadline and an earlier deadline for yourself- then paste it on the wall of your room (or make it the wallpaper of your lock screen). If the deadline is on the same day, you freeze the apps on your phone that distract you the most. Then, you play your “Life or Death playlist”, open your laptop and begin to work. This might seem a little dramatic but, it is what some people do to “get in the zone” when they have important work to do.
With this system in place, they almost always meet their deadlines. Let’s imagine you had a system like this. In your office, you’d be known as the one who always beats her deadlines; your co-workers would even call it a habit. What they don’t know is, there’s a system that you’ve built over time to facilitate and sustain that habit/skill. And the best thing is, this system will keep working even when you don’t necessarily feel motivated to work or even when you’re having a bad day. That’s what systems do for you.
At first, these systems might seem mechanical but as the days, weeks and months go by, the systems will become second nature to you.
Step 3: Explore Your Interests
As a child, you probably heard the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” A lot of people let the answers they gave as 10-year-olds dictate their educational and professional choices for a major part of their lives. Don’t tow that line. Yes, when you were 8, you said you wanted to be a doctor but now, you’re 21, in med school, and you realize that medicine is not for you. You discover that you have a flair for painting and you could be greater than Picasso. You also discover that you might be good at Product Design, or even dancing. Should you explore these interests? Absolutely. That’s what your 20s are for.
When you have multiple interests, some people would say you lack focus. That’s not necessarily true. You don’t lack focus; you just have a lot of options to choose from. Your early 20s are the best time to explore these interests, figure out if they’re worth it in the long run, fail at some, learn important lessons from your experiences and move on. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life. What matters is that you give your best to each experience and learn valuable skills from them which would help you when you’re older and on more defined career paths. For example, as a chef, you would learn time management and coordination, as a painter, you would learn to see what others do not see, and as a dancer, you would learn discipline and flexibility. All these skills will help you even if you decide to be a doctor in the future.
Ideally, by the time you’re in your late 20s, you should be leaning towards the career path you want to focus on. Of course, your career choice could still change in 5 years but, it’s important that as you get older, you prioritize one interest above the others.
P.S. You don’t have to try every single thing you’re interested in; that will drain your energy. Test every interest. Is it something you’re fairly good at? Is it something you really like? Is it valuable to you in any way? Narrow down your interests and give your attention to only those that are important.
Step 4: Build Strong And Meaningful Relationships
A wise woman once said, “Your relationships are like trees. Some people are leaves — they stay for a season and fall off, some are branches — they stay for a while, serve a purpose and then fall off, while others are roots because they stay forever.”
Your 20s are the time to build the trees in your life. In your 20s, you should work on building meaningful, strategic, and rewarding relationships that will help you at different stages of your life. As the wise woman said, some people are roots while others are leaves and branches. Contrary to popular opinion, it is unwise to spend your 20s on “networking”.
“Networking” in the present social climate refers to the act of meeting new people and creating connections with them for the sole purpose of advancing your career and expanding your social network. This might be the first time you’ll see this but the truth is, most times, the relationships you create through this kind of networking will not be strong enough to get you through the storms of life. You need solid relationships. You also need professional relationships and occasional acquaintances.
Cheryl Carmichael, the assistant Professor of Psychology at the City University of New York, explained why your 20s are the best time to build your relationships. She said, “It’s often around this age that we meet people from diverse backgrounds, with opinions and values that are different from our own, and we learn how to best manage those differences,”. Apart from developing your relational skills, building the right relationships in your 20s even with mere acquaintances could improve your life significantly.
So, develop meaningful relationships in your 20s, because they’ll form the foundation of your social, professional, and personal life in your 30s, 40s, and the decades ahead.
Step 5: Discover Who You Are
As cliché as this sounds, it’s the truth. Your 20s are the best time to dig deep and learn more about yourself. You might be thinking, “Wasn’t that what my teenage years were for?” Not exactly. When you were a teenager, you did not know enough about the world to properly examine your mindset, your personality traits, your interests, and every other thing about you.
For example, when I was 18, I knew — or I thought I knew — certain things about myself, however, it wasn’t until I grew older and faced real adult life challenges in my last two years at University, that I could really say (to an extent) who I was. That’s why it’s important to do A LOT of self-introspection in your 20s. Ask yourself basic questions:
- What am I passionate about? What’s one thing that I could commit my life to? What’s my major goal in life?
- What makes me tick? What kinds of situations make me tick? How do I respond in these situations?
There are several other questions here and here also that you could ask yourself to help 2discover who you are, what you like, and what you would like to do with your life. It is important that you do this in your 20s because this is when you have ample time to change and develop parts of yourself and create the version of yourself that you desire to see.
Conclusion
Being in your 20s can be confusing and frightening sometimes, but, if you do the right things in your 20s, it can turn out to be one of the best decades of your life. This article was written to help you navigate the rocky terrains of your 20s, and if you put everything here into practice, you will conquer your 20s with a bang!
Boma Praise George is a graduate of the Faculty of Law, University of Lagos. She is passionate about growth and development for individuals and businesses. She is currently a social media intern at WiiCreate. Connect with Boma on Twitter (@bomapg) for more insightful conversations
Edited by Praise Udemba
Praise is a recent graduate who is constantly looking to try out new things. She enjoys learning about design, writing, and anything relating to the MCU. Connect with Praise on Instagram.
